Annie Duckett Hundley

Member for
11 years · 5 months · 21 days
Find a Grave ID
47394373

Bio

The Genius and Blessing of Find a Grave: Many headstone photos, obituaries, and biographies in this database will exist beyond the actual headstone and mortuary/newspaper archives. I love making sure people's lives aren't forgotten and linking families. It's a blessing to so many, in life and in spirit.
Happy to Help You: I'd be happy to help you in any way I can through this website or through the Association of Professional Genealogists registry (APGEN link above). I'm very grateful for the help I've received all these years.
:♥:❤:♥: A Project Close to My Heart: :♥:❤:♥: There are 500+ burials in Provo City Cemetery for patients of the Utah Territorial Insane Asylum (now known as Utah State Hospital), most in unmarked graves, given a pauper's burial, alone without ceremony, between 1885 and 1960. Donations were requested for the Utah State Hospital Forgotten Patients Cemetery Project to help construct a monument to honor these precious, forgotten souls. I'm happy to report that on October 10, 2018, the monument was completed! They've been home with their Savior, Jesus Christ, for a long time but also deserve to finally be remembered here on Earth. See the link (above) for each of their memorials on the webpage I've created for them.
Memorial Transfers: I'm more than happy to transfer a memorial to family, unless I'm related. Also, feel free to request a transfer of a family member's recently deceased memorial, rather than choosing the instant "manage" option during the first year; this will prevent the digital removal of all photos, obituary, and all flowers/tokens left by loved ones, if that is your preference. Please just let me know.
Early Inspiration: My first realization that history was a passion for me began in childhood and came through the freakish looks my friends would give me as I'd stand motionless and stare at the dilapidated remains of old cabins, barns, and homesteads, wishing that for just a few seconds, I could go back in time to see and feel what they did. I wanted to know what life was like for those that lived there, built their lives literally by the sweat of their brow, and sacrificed so much in search of truth, freedoms, and a new way. I'm grateful to and for them.
How I Got Started: I have loved histories, research, biographies, obituaries, and fascinated with the Old West and Victorian times since I can remember. So when I was introduced to genealogy it just fit! For me, it began in 1991 when I was asked by a sweet, elderly neighbor to help her with her family history; she was legally blind and "...afraid to learn how to do this stuff alone, and I sense you love well and learn well." I gave it a try, was quickly hooked, and later became a genealogist. As a young, busy mom, I didn't have time to get into family history as much as I wanted to. A very wise woman reminded me, "There is a time and a season... one day you'll be able to." Right, as usual, Granny!
Personal Life and Blessings: I was born in 1962 and have been happily married to my hero since 1983. Between us, we've been blessed with six sons, one daughter, one foster daughter, and a growing number of grandchildren. I grew up in Utah, mostly Provo, and have lived in Montana since 1996. As of 2015, I've moved 52 times! There are so many blessings I am grateful for. I have been blessed with the TRUTH, the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ; I'm blessed to know that nearly every branch of my family sacrificed intensely to have and live that truth, which meant I could be blessed with it too; I'm blessed to be born in America; blessed with great teachers, leaders, friends, examples, ancestors; blessed with one of the best towns in the world to grow up; blessed to have married into an unconditionally loving family; blessed to learn very young, that there really are much worse experiences than dying; also learned young, the power of love and the lack of it. I have been immensely blessed with the love of my forever favorite guy, Paul Hundley—the love of my life; blessed beyond measure by the perfect love of many children and teenagers entrusted to my best efforts, yet imperfect, loving care and protection—the joy of my life; blessed with our eternal family and posterity; blessed with hundreds of eager, loving, challenging, teachable students; and blessed with the absolute knowledge that we live, learn, and grow beyond this life. We each have Heavenly Parents that love us perfectly, and for most of us, our return to them, to our Savior, and our ancestors, will be a comforting, familiar, warm homecoming. I know it. I love my Savior and His simple truths He shares. I also love: my family, children, music, learning, truth, teaching, laughter, words, reading, research, singing, art, history, genealogy, psychology, dogs, horses, mountains, four seasons, sewing, decorating, creating, designing, color, being trusted, defending people, organizing, quilts, observing people, serving, volunteering, and the many opportunities I've been given to help people find the best in themselves... their gifts and talents. I don't love: making mistakes, my weaknesses, condescension, injustice, when power is more important than people, abuse of any kind, especially of the innocent; the use or force of "so called" truth and religion to gain control over people (ignoring the gift of choice/moral agency), and when fear or shame stops people from doing the right thing, especially when I notice it in myself.
Having Our Histories Can Help Heal: Pursuing my family history has provided me with much more than I ever anticipated. I am the oldest of six children, as well as, three younger half brothers, a stepsister, and foster sister. ****MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME**** I grew up fast in a very busy, sometimes funny, perfectionistic, incestuous, abusive, negligent, sadistic, chronically traumatic, controlled, viciously critical, extremely dishonest, yet deeply religious home. I lied to hide it, protect, relate, and survive. From age seven, I felt (and was expected to be) responsible, in the extreme, for the well-being of my younger siblings and wouldn't have had it any other way in order to offer them what I would never have or be allowed. I did my best to love and take care of them to limit the harm (pretty impossible in the environment created for us). It did not need to be demanded of me the way it was, I would have done it anyway, just as most oldest children would. Like many other things, all my hard work, sacrifices, and responsibility for them has been denied and minimized, even though it began at age seven and continued through the first 11 years of my marriage. I had no childhood and was not allowed to be a daughter or a sister. It was vital to me that they know they are loved, that they matter, and protect them from as much harm as I could. I saw clearly, at a young age, that my father and mother had been harmed also. I had many questions, feelings and needs I wasn't allowed to express. The effects have affected every aspect of my life: my relationships, caused mental/emotional illness, four disabilities, and in spite of my high-functioning, people-pleasing, service-driven, chronic volunteering, "human doing" past, I'm rarely able to leave my home for many years now, but I am healing. I've had a lot to heal in terms of trust in anything or anyone, identity, hope, and the confusion of just how far back this multi-generational hell goes. To be clear, not all of my family and heritage are guilty of the abusive atrocities that some have chosen, but we've all been affected in varying degrees. Why are the meek, shy, honest, careful and loving in my family devoured by the rest? The ultimate examples are the murder of my paternal grandfather (one of the few adults I ever felt unconditional love from during my first nine years) by his second wife, due to the ugly truths she was hiding; the horribly toxic relationships being created and bitterly ended, often to avoid truth; the suicide of a younger brother; the attempted suicide of other siblings and myself; as well as the persecution and alienation of myself, and later, my brother, Justin, for refusing, like me, to keep the toxic family secrets. I could not accept the abuses, horrible effects, even the taking and forfeiting of life that I was witnessing and enduring; it contradicted the Gospel I was learning in church, community, and being "taught" in the same family and home. I've found some answers, learned so much, and continue to. The Gospel of Jesus Christ will ALWAYS be true no matter how we believe, behave or endure. Some things are true whether we believe them or not.
Hell, Hope, and Happiness in Family History: I see now why I was so compelled to be the first in at least four generations (that I know of) to speak the ugly truth out loud in 1977—at age 15. Since then, I have been vehemently denied, blamed, shamed, repeatedly betrayed, persecuted, threatened, slandered, abandoned, alienated, blatantly ignored, disowned twice by one brother, combined against in secretly planned "family councils" I was invited to, by the same people I dedicated my life to —my family of origin— with the exception of one courageous brother. Three ex-brothers-in-law and a stepfather also attempted to defend me at times as well. I've been blamed and persecuted for "ruining the family" by not keeping the secrets, especially incest. As they got older, I was used as their servant, confidant, and the only one they could turn to when they needed to be loved, a place to live, to speak their truth, be believed, their feelings validated and understood. I was not allowed those things. I knew I was just of use, very young. My hope was that with enough love, meeting needs, listening, understanding and patience, we could all heal and be an actual loving family. While my efforts were not perfect by any means, I perpetually forgave and tried over and over and over again. For some people, you just can't give, endure, love, pray, and sacrifice enough, even in our own families. As each new sibling was born and I took on more and more responsibility, I finally started feeling truly loved by them, and could love them safely as I nurtured, tried to protect, and care for them. The loss of that love I received from these precious children and teenagers as they took on the denials, use and persecution of me, and the attitudes that dominate our family dynamics, can't really be described. I have powerful maternal love and feelings for them to this day, which confused and blessed us all, I believe. I learned years later, this demanded role reversal in families is very common with oldest incest survivors. My love for my family of origin remains.
The Savior's Hand in Our Efforts to Heal: I've learned so much and the Lord has been turning all of this for my good all along, I just didn't always realize it. If your lineage has also suffered and hidden these multi-generational horrors, trust me, acknowledging your truth is the only way to begin to heal and prevent it from being passed on. It's also one of the hardest things you'll ever do, second only to suffering and witnessing it in the first place. Please consider prayer, getting professional help, and finding the genuine support you need. The Lord truly can turn the ugliest truth for our good. The secrecy and denial is what perpetuated it, gave it a place to hide and grow, to be passed down for generations. I know now that is one of the reasons I was born, when and where I was born, and in which lineage I was born. My truth, feelings, needs, wishes, witness, suffering, and experiences can be denied and used against me in this life—I understand and can't escape that—but not in the next life. The Lord has been guiding me to that knowledge my entire life, and as I've been told through many priesthood blessings—long before I was born. Accepting it and complete forgiveness is still a work in progress for me; the effects are still ravaging my life in debilitating ways. There are many in this world abused by their own families. A countless and on-going number have crossed my path over these nearly 45 years since I spoke it out loud. To date, 163 people since I posted this, have entrusted me with their own family of origin abuses, suffering, effects, and hope that they and their families might one day heal. A great deal of us have been abandoned by our family of origin in many ways, for many years &/or needed to take ourselves away from them; most of us had been telling them why for years. Also, MANY of us have confided (whether from abusive families or not) that we are suffering the agonies of a growing and destructive family dynamic—abandonment by one or more of our adult children, with no reason given, preventing opportunity to work through family issues to allow healing. Adult children "canceling" their parent(s), and offering no reason or genuine conversation, is an epidemic worldwide, as studies in 2005, 2010, and 2021 prove. Not the same as estrangement, it is considered a new form of abuse. I have no idea how the Lord will turn this for any of our good, but I know He can, if we are willing. I don't know what our future holds, but I know who holds our future.
Healing Our Heritage in Truth: Finally expressing my truth is helping me take the steps to heal (it's taking much longer than I could have imagined) and many have confided that my truth has inspired them to finally do the same. Others have deeply influenced me as well, so passing along our beautiful and ugly truth works. The Lord can do that! He can offer us the love, faith, courage, strength, and one another, to endure our harmed and harmful families and move forward in truth. We can forgive them in time, even though we may not be able to trust them in any way or be near them again in this life. I see and feel intensely, as I move through my healing and the discovery of each ancestor; they're grateful the truth is out. I've learned that my heritage also has incredible strengths, greatness, and endurance, besides the horrendous abuses and suffering. They're sorry for the destruction they either passed down, concealed or denied, and they feel freedom as I find and slowly forgive them. They want and need the truth more than ever, since leaving this life. They're grateful that they matter, that their lives did, and that even though much denial still exists in their posterity, the opportunity to face the truth has been offered because it has been spoken out loud and brought out of the shadows, lies, secrets, and denial that have enabled it to infect each new generation. They want us to embrace the truth—even the ugly truths of our family, as our Savior does. It is necessary for all of our healing, progression, and God's Great Plan of Happiness. My ancestors know me...I'm getting to know them. They can progress from where they are and so can I. We help each other. They matter and have great worth... and they help me finally know that I do too.

Requests: Please use the EDIT tab on a memorial to send requests for corrections or transfers. I'm happy to add &/or correct appropriate info if requested with respect and your primary source.
Permissions: I waive all claim of copyright for my headstone and cemetery photos I've taken; I happily share them. You may use for non-commercial use. However, my graphic designs, researched and written biographies (not compiled bios) are protected by copyright law. DO NOT post, publish, share as your own, or submit to other websites. I believe in sharing generously in this work, that's why I do it. I don't believe in stealing or claiming other people's hard work as your own. I try very hard to cite my source(s) in my work. If I have overlooked citing a source, please email me or send an edit request through the memorial in question.
Find a Grave Community Rules: Abuses will be reported with screenshot as proof. No exceptions. I'm sorry some create this need. I'm grateful to those that know how to conduct themselves in an appropriate, kind, and mature way. Let's keep in mind why and how this website exists.
Please Remember:
● Let's be patient and kind, not one of us is perfect. We're all kinda putzy sometimes!
● I'm truly grateful to all those that have been so giving of their time, efforts and info in this work. I want to thank you all very much and I'm happy to help you if I can.
● My (or anyone's) edit requests are not meant to insult, but to help complete memorials, link families and give honor. If I send an edit request, I've verified with primary sources.
● Please learn Find a Grave naming conventions (see HELP link). For multiple married names, Find a Grave now allows (not requires) more than one in the last name field as the system will now pick up each last name in the search function. My preference is the original rule (last name matching headstone—not four or five last names in a title), but will use on rare occasions if they are all inscribed on headstone or to avoid duplicates.
● We have 22 days to respond to requests, rarely taking longer than 24 hours. I've been entrusted with 10,000+ memorials from inactive, photo-only or fallen gravers, besides memorials I've created; it takes time to update and maintain them all. Please be patient and kind. Enjoy Find a Grave!

A Favorite Quote: "Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live (see 2 Cor. 6:9). As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven."

—Russell M. Nelson
April 1992 General Conference
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

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