The Genius and Blessing of Find A Grave: Many photos and bios in this database will outlive the actual headstone and newspaper archives. I love making sure people's lives aren't forgotten and linking families. It's a blessing to so many of us in life and in spirit.
Happy to Help You: I can be found in the Association of Professional Genealogists registry if you have need of my assistance. I'm also a member of the National Genealogical Society. I'd be happy to help you in any way I can, whether in your work on this database or in your family history research. I'm very grateful for the help I've received all these years.
♥ ❤ ♥ A Project Close to My Heart: ♥ ❤ ♥ There are 474 burials in Provo City Cemetery for patients of the Utah Territorial Insane Asylum (now known as Utah State Hospital); most in unmarked graves, given a pauper’s burial, alone without ceremony, between 1886 and the 1960s. I ask that you please consider donating to the Utah State Hospital Forgotten Patients Cemetery Project to help construct a monument to honor these precious, forgotten souls. They are home now with their Savior, Jesus Christ, but deserve to be remembered here on Earth. See my growing virtual cemetery for them here.
Early Inspiration: My first realization that history was a passion for me began in childhood and came through the freakish looks my friends would give me as I'd stand motionless and stare at the dilapidated remains of old cabins, barns and homesteads, wishing that for just a few seconds, I could go back in time to see and feel what they did. I wanted to know what life was like for those that lived there, built their lives literally by the sweat of their brow and sacrificed so much in search of truth, freedoms and a new way. I'm grateful for and to them.
How I Got Started: I have loved histories, research, biographies, obituaries and have been fascinated with the Old West and Victorian times since I can remember. So when I was introduced to genealogy it just fit! For me, it began in 1991 when I was asked by a sweet, elderly neighbor to help her with her family history; she was legally blind and "...afraid to learn how to do this stuff alone, and I sense you love well and learn well." I gave it a try, was quickly hooked and later, became a genealogist. As a young, busy mom, I didn't have time to get into family history as much as I desperately wanted to. A wise woman reminded me, "There is a season and a time... one day you'll be able to." Right, as usual, Granny!
Personal Life: I was born in 1962, happily married to my hero since 1983, we've been blessed with three sons, one daughter, three stepsons, one foster daughter and a growing number of grandchildren. I grew up in Utah, mostly Provo, but have lived in Montana since 1996. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and His simple truths He shares. I also love: my family, music, learning, truth, teaching, laughter, words, reading, research, singing, children, history, psychology, dogs, horses, mountains, four seasons, sewing, creating, designing, color, being trusted, defending people, organizing, quilts, observing people, serving, volunteering, and the many opportunities I've been given to help people find the best in themselves... their gifts and talents. I don't love: making mistakes, my weaknesses, condescension, injustice, when power is more important than people, abuse of any kind, especially of the innocent; the use of "so called" truth and religion to gain control over people (ignoring the gift of free will), and when fear stops people from doing the right thing, especially when I notice it in myself.
How Having Our Histories Can Help Heal: Pursuing my family history has provided me with much more than I ever anticipated. I am the oldest of six children, as well as, three younger half brothers and a stepsister. I grew up fast in a very busy, sometimes funny, perfectionistic, incestuous, abusive, negligent, sadistic, chronically traumatic and controlled, yet deeply religious home. I lied to hide it, protect, relate and survive. We also moved 19 times in my first 18 years. I felt (and was expected to be) responsible, in the extreme, for the well-being of my younger siblings and saw clearly, at a young age, that my parents had been harmed also. I had many questions, feelings and needs I wasn't allowed to express. The effects have affected every aspect of my life, relationships and caused four disabilities, but I am healing. I've had much to heal in terms of trust in anything or anyone, identity, hope, and just how far back this multi-generational hell goes. Why are the meek, shy, honest, careful or loving in my family devoured by the rest? The ultimate examples are the murder of my paternal grandfather (one of the few adults I ever felt unconditional love from in my family) by his second wife, when I was nine years old; the suicide of a younger brother, as well as the persecution and alienation of another younger brother for refusing, like me, to keep the toxic family secrets. I could not accept that to be loving, sensitive and especially, truthful, meant you'd be abused/destroyed and it contradicted the Gospel I was "taught" in the same family and home. I've found some answers, learned much and continue to. The Gospel of Jesus Christ will ALWAYS be true.
Happiness, Hope and Healing Our Heritage: I've learned that my heritage also has much greatness besides horrendous abuses and suffering. I see now why I was so compelled to be the first in at least four generations (that I know of) to speak the ugly truth out loud...at age 15. I've been denied, betrayed, persecuted, threatened, abandoned and alienated by the same people I dedicated my life to. Blamed for "ruining the family" by not keeping the secrets, but still used as their servant, confidant and the only one they could turn to when they needed to be loved, a place to live, to speak their truth and be understood. I still love them with all my heart. I see and feel intensely, as I move through my healing and the discovery of each ancestor; they are grateful the truth is out. They're sorry for the destruction they either passed down, concealed or denied and they feel freedom as I find and slowly forgive them. They want and need the truth more than ever, since leaving this life. They are grateful that they matter, that their lives did, and that even though much denial still exists in their posterity...the opportunity to face the truth has been offered because it has been spoken out loud and brought out of the shadows, lies, secrets and denial that have enabled it to infect each new generation. They know me...I know them. They can progress from where they are and so can I. We help each other. They matter and have great worth... and they help me finally know that I do too.
Requests: Please use the Suggest Edit function (upper right) to update memorials. I'm happy to add/correct appropriate info if requested with respect, kindness and your source. You may use my headstone and cemetery photos for non-commercial use.
Transfers: I love this work, this website, and I volunteer a lot of my time here. However, transfers have become a real issue, many Find A Grave friends are noticing the same thing. Most Find A Grave contributors are GREAT when negotiating transfers, but too many are toxic. Due to demanding and disrespectful correspondence, I now adhere to Find A Grave transfer rules. I also reserve the right to make rare exceptions. Also, a transfer will not happen if you: Fail to state relationship: spouse, parent, sibling, grandparent, great-grandparent, children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren | are a collector (harvesting with few contributions) | create duplicate claiming you'll delete after transfer | or have been abusive in the past. You can add memorial to your virtual cemetery instead. Abuses will be reported with screenshot as proof. No exceptions. I'm sorry some create this need. I'm grateful to those that know how to conduct themselves in an appropriate, kind and adult way. Let's keep in mind why and how this website exists.
● Let's be patient and kind, not one of us is perfect. We're all kinda putzy sometimes!
● I'm truly grateful to all those that have been so giving of their time, efforts and info in this work. I want to thank you all very much and I'm happy to help you if I can.
● My (or anyone's) edit requests are not meant to insult, but to help complete memorials, link families and give honor. If I send an edit request, I've verified with primary sources.
● Please, ONE surname ONLY in title of memorials (the one that matches headstone) even with multiple marriages. Other married names go in bio area. It's against Find A Grave rules to add more because it interferes with search function and promotes duplicates. Please learn and adhere to Find A Grave naming conventions.
● I have 21 days to respond to requests, rarely taking longer than 24 hours. I've been entrusted with 4500+ memorials from inactive, photo-only or fallen gravers, besides memorials I've created; it takes time to update and maintain them all. Please be patient and kind. Enjoy Find A Grave!
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." --George Santayana
My revision: Those who will not acknowledge &/or learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.