Tree Leaf

Member for
10 years · 6 months · 18 days
Find a Grave ID
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Please read that. That's the FAQ procedure if declined.

The above link also mentions the Genealogical Proof Standard.

Please send proofs via the edit/suggest other (nicknamed "SAC.")

Please a personal request: Please allow me time and opportunity to add to the bio rather than attaching website images and such to the decedent's virtual grave. That's what these entries are.

Ignoring that courtesy to the decedent makes their virtual grave into someone's personal tree, ignores conflicting information, ruins the virtual cemetery appearance, and bypasses the edit process by forcing (often incorrect) information onto a memorial. Sometimes one memorial can have multiple pieces of different and conflicting information sent by various members. So sometimes it's best to leave a field blank until actual, defining proofs resolve it. If someone forces info onto a page it can only complicate it. (If specific proof is requested, please send same, vs. simply arguing or sending the edits back, contrary to protocols.)

There is a process please use it. Jumping past it makes the entire system superfluous and the manager redundant. In which case why have fact fields or managers at all? Everyone can just attach things to photos or flowers; and managers, and the edit system is kaput. In which case I've just wasted ten years of my life here.

Among disheartening experiences is reading derisive comments about "numbers gravers" and much worse epithets, on so many profile statements. Please explain how contributing a lot is a bad thing. Please explain how the accusations of "striving for accolades" makes sense, when there are none. There is no pay either. No one is "competing" either. There is no reward, other than helping people we'll likely never meet. Members here have donated time away from any other pursuit and even from work and family, holidays and events, taking classes, relaxation time, hobbies, anything else, solely to help others here. How does that get turned into accusatory insults? The whole purpose of the site is to build a large and accurate database. And to allow virtual grave visitations. Neither are possible without volunteers finding the graves (sound familiar?) and recording the locations here.

The site does not require managers to also work up a genealogical profile or tree on each decedent but many do, as well as research and add more to things sent. Many put a lot of time and effort into providing as much information as they can. They do their best. Being a good manager or custodian of a memorial and having a lot of them are not mutually exclusive.

Simply put, I'll never understand why the sacrifice of so much time and effort results in insults and accusations. There's no rational reason for it. It's extremely hurtful. It damages the community.

Back to bypassing edits and management: Honestly my heart sinks every time I see Xeroxes on their virtual graves. Sometimes for the wrong person or incorrect or unverified materials/info. Everyone presumably feels the info sent is correct but it is not always, or cannot be verified, or conflicts or opposes what someone else sent and also insists is correct. There are genealogical questions no one can answer, not even top experts. In which case the field should remain blank and people can put what they feel is correct on their personal tree. It does not all have to be on the face of their virtual grave, the only (visit-able) grave some decedents have. (Which is another reason I want each virtual grave to look dignified on its face, for *everyone* who might visit it.)

I put in a lot of time, but not every answer is online. This site is not a tree site; it shouldn't look like one. Please don't insert bios into captions, flowers or inscription fields either. Again: please use the process the site has in place for us all.

Unless it says otherwise, I did the research, typing and/or writing you see in the bios. I only rarely 'sign' them as such. Exception: pages I 'inherited' but I credit those as I find them. I have sent out many thousands of typed obits, rewritten obits, and pasted data as well. Many are not used and many are uncredited. It isn't about that. I am only saying this because, before people send angry missives, I wish some would understand how hard we work here.

I recall very well how it felt when I first got here and looking back I did not understand a lot. The day I was told this is not a genealogy site but a final dispositions index, I completely changed my focus here. The site has its own type of protocols as it is not a tree or memorial site per se. I do my best. Keep in mind if messaging me, you've just seen whatever it is but I might have last worked on it years ago. A hello and even a thank you are always appreciated. Both are rare. Lol

Photo permissions: please, check the caption. If nothing else please say "from Find A Grave." Keeping track of the origin is crucial in family history records. Ancestry can link directly to photos here as well as to each memorial, so please link if you can, vs. re-upload. Attribution is a good habit to maintain in general. It keeps cleaner records and a log of where information came from or where to go for more.

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