THIS PICTURE IS OF MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND, I LOVE YOU JERRY BENNETT OSTRANDER............notice he is standing next to a headstone. We spent a lot of time, together, in cemeteries.
I haven't done much on Find a Grave for quite a while. My husband, Jerry, and I have been crafting bird feeders and attending craft shows. That in its self takes up a lot of a persons time.
Last year in May (2011) we went to California, Colorado & Oregon for two months. Our granddaughter was getting married in Ft. Bragg CA. After the wedding we had family and friends, we hadn't seen in a very long time, to visit. We have a son and his wife in Oregon, another son who just happened to be visiting in Oregon while we were there, one daughter and husband, three grandchildren and two g-grandchildren in CA, youngest daughter and husband and two grandsons in Colorado. It was the most wonderful trip we had every taken together, every thing was perfect. I think this trip was a gift from God so that we would all have wonderful memories of each other. And I thank You God for that.
You see my husband of, not quite 47 years, died on 12 May 2012. We were tearing down an old house and the front porch roof came down sooner than it was suppose to and fell on my Jerry. There was a friend of ours who was, also, trapped under the roof but, thanks to God, he was spared. God wasn't ready for our friend yet, but he needed Jerry. I sure hope he needed my husband more than I did, because I needed that man of mine a whole lot, God knows I wasn't ready to let Jerry go, but we are on God's time table not ours. There were a lot of things we still had in our minds to do yet.
Please, please don't waited to realize how important your loved ones are to you. Once they are gone you cannot bring them back to tell them how you feel about them. Tell them now and tell them every day how much you love them and how much you depend on them.
Jerry and I were lucky, we were together 51 years, high school sweethearts. Jerry knew how I felt about him because I told him I love many times a day. For no reason, at all, I would just go up to him, give him a kiss and a hug just because of who he was and what he ment to me. My arms are so empty now. What hurts the most is that I had no idea how much I depended on him until he was gone from my life. He made our crafts, I decorated them. We went on long rides around our county, together. We talked to each other every day. We cooked together, we cleaned house together (he was a much better housewife than I am), we researched and took pictures of cemeteries and stone for Find a Grave together, everything we did was together.
Now people tell me I have to learn to do all of this by myself. I'm not at that point yet, I don't even know how to tackle all of these things without Jerry. It's like starting a new life all over again, but alone. I wasn't ready for this I don't know if I ever will be.
The only thing I am doing for Find a Grave right now is corrections. I can't make myself go out right now without Jerry to do the research and take pictures. Maybe someday I will be able to start taking pictures again.
I'm really glad I‘m not writing on paper, it would be so full of tear stains and hard to read. This was really hard to write to all of you. In Gods name, I love all of you. Thank you for being my friends.
18 Sep 2012
Clark County, Missouri