He taught me so many things about life. Things that I never realized until many years later. He always wanted to learn....he always wanted to know why things were the way they were......To me.......he was EVERYTHING. I was so in love with him, and believed everything he said. I ALWAYS wanted to be around him, yet there was something missing in his soul.
I tried to reach inside of him to find what it was that was missing for him.....but he would not divulge his inner most thoughts. I gave up on him.......and it was shortly after that... that he committed suicide. He was only 20 years old.
I could not bring myself to go to the funeral....as I was so devestated. It took MANY years for me to come to terms with myself, and visit his grave. When I finally did go, it was then that I discovered that there was no head stone.
His family just buried him, and never went back. When I went there...it was very sad to know that there was no place to put flowers.......nothing with his name on it.....nothing showing when he was born......or when he died, but I knew. It was then that I realized what was missing for him...it was his family.
I think he really wanted love from his family....and never really had it. And it still, after all these years......breaks my heart that he ended up so alone and forgotten. I will NEVER forget him.
I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, that leaves a flower for him. He did deserve to be remembered, and loved.
I will always love you Jackman.
He taught me so many things about life. Things that I never realized until many years later. He always wanted to learn....he always wanted to know why things were the way they were......To me.......he was EVERYTHING. I was so in love with him, and believed everything he said. I ALWAYS wanted to be around him, yet there was something missing in his soul.
I tried to reach inside of him to find what it was that was missing for him.....but he would not divulge his inner most thoughts. I gave up on him.......and it was shortly after that... that he committed suicide. He was only 20 years old.
I could not bring myself to go to the funeral....as I was so devestated. It took MANY years for me to come to terms with myself, and visit his grave. When I finally did go, it was then that I discovered that there was no head stone.
His family just buried him, and never went back. When I went there...it was very sad to know that there was no place to put flowers.......nothing with his name on it.....nothing showing when he was born......or when he died, but I knew. It was then that I realized what was missing for him...it was his family.
I think he really wanted love from his family....and never really had it. And it still, after all these years......breaks my heart that he ended up so alone and forgotten. I will NEVER forget him.
I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, that leaves a flower for him. He did deserve to be remembered, and loved.
I will always love you Jackman.