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In response to a personal loss, I've written a book. Those so inclined can learn more at:

It's my hope that it helps those struggling with a loss find their voice, as I struggle to find mine.


I spend some time most days entering new records and editing existing ones. Here are some thoughts on that:

- My edits are only suggestions, submitted in good faith, and with good intentions. Accept them or don't, that's up to the recipient. I don't suggest edits to irritate anyone, but for those that take umbrage, my apologies. My suggested edits are never intended as a comment on anyone's efforts.

- If you have edits to the memorials I caretake, I'm very happy to receive and review them.

- When I enter new records, I don't copy and paste published obits or pictures. If sent a published obit, I don't add it to a memorial. In my opinion, there are copyright issues in play, info in obits often goes quickly out of date, and if it has already been published on the internet, it is easily discovered for those with an interest.

- If you'd like the memorial of a relative transferred to you, let me know. I don't 'own' the memorials I enter, I simply caretake them until, someday, I'm gone, too, and someone (I hope) will be caretaking mine. That said, please be polite. I've had very rude requests from folks that feel their status on FindAGrave is superior to mine. I'm not interested in anyone's status, including mine, and I'll ignore rudeness every time.

- On dates: I see FindAGrave as a place of remembrance and research. When it comes to a record I'm creating, if a marker or obit says, e.g., 'Died June 1, 1985, age 85', my thinking is that the best guess of the birth year is 1900. I know that could be off by a year, but the alternative is 'Unknown'. So I'd enter 1900 as the birth year in the hope that, if I'm wrong, someone comes along behind me with better information and reduces the potential error from one to zero. I think this 'best educated guess' approach to dates helps researchers by making it a bit easier to find possible matches, i.e., at least getting the person making the inquiry 'into the neighborhood'. (BTW, I take a different approach with suggested edits. I only submit factual date information, taken from a published obit or funeral home profile.) That's just my approach. I understand if you disagree with me on that, or anything else for that matter. After all, we're not curing cancer here. :-)

Pet peeves:
Periods after middle initials: I place a period after a middle initial, because in 99.9% of cases, the middle initial is an abbreviation of a name, and should have a period to indicate that. For example, if a person's actual middle name is 'S', as was the case for Harry S Truman, it requires no period, though it's optional use is still acceptable. But if their middle name is 'Samuel', and the record exhibits only the first letter, it should feature a period. That said, I'm not the punctuation police, so do as you will, and I will use the period.
Not entering place of birth and death because it's included in the bio: FindAGrave is a database. The bio is not searchable. It makes it more difficult to locate records when the data isn't entered into the searchable fields. And that's all I have to say about that. :-)
FindAGrave's use of quotation marks around nicknames: Not sure I like the whole nickname feature to begin with, but the correct punctuation would be single quotes, not quotation marks.

Be well, be kind, and thanks for being a participant in FindAGrave. I appreciate everyone's efforts!

Cheers! - G


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