ray&jay

Member for
7 years · 3 months · 16 days
Find A Grave ID
47475837
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"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep"
— 1 Thessalonians 4:13

"Death is beautiful when seen to be a law, and not an accident - It is as common as life.
— Henry David Thoreau

"Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
— Buddha

"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
— Woody Allen

"I always wanted to be somebody. I see now that I should have been more specific."
— Lily Tomlin

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
— Abraham Lincoln

"A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women — all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral."
— Groucho Marx
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A taphophile (otherwise known as a "tombstone tourist", "cemetery enthusiast", cemetery tourist "grave hunter" or "graver") describes an individual who has a passion for and enjoyment of cemeteries.

"Taphophilia has always seemed a strange term to me. Perhaps it’s too scientific or too exotic or maybe it smacks just a bit too much of a New Age twist. Akin to the idea of cemetery collector, I’ve always fashioned myself as a memory collector, pocketing the histories, large and small of men and women long gone and yet still oddly alive when we stroll past the stones marking the very last spot they visited before pushing on."
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"Find a Grave's mission is to find, record and present final disposition information from around the world as a virtual cemetery experience. Memorial contributions to Find A Grave must fulfill that mission - registration of the final disposition. If the memorial contribution corresponds with only the main mission, then the memorial fulfills its purpose as part of Find A Grave's mission...It is of great historical importance to have a record of all those who have been a part of our collective humanity. Burial information is a wonderful resource for people researching their families (genealogists)." (quote from FAQ page), The FAQs are a repository of information for FAG; everyone should learn the distinction between FAG policies/rules versus recommendations/guidelines. A lot of good information is exchanged in the forums, too.

We believe personal goals of contributors to this wonderful site should include assisting others with history and legacy connections.

Please do not request corrections or transfers here. Use the "Suggest A Correction" feature by clicking the edit tab on the memorial needing correction/transfer. Please be sure to include your FAG member number on transfer requests (it's required for completing a transfer). Due to time constraints we cannot make extensive additions to existing pages. We usually accept all auto-corrects for names, dates, places of birth and death and family links unless we know for certain they are incorrect (this would mostly only be for our own family members). We make no apologies for any information accepted from other contributors which may not be accurate. We expect researchers and genealogists to get their facts right before submitting corrections.

Our view regarding the posting of death certificate images? Well, here's the "official" FindAGrave guideline:
"Death certificates may be added via the "Add a photo" button on the memorial page. Please select the option for "Other" in the "Type of photo:" to be added, as it is not a Grave, Person or Family photograph. NOTE: Death certificates don't necessarily contain completely accurate information." Our position is based on the quote "History without documentation is folklore or fiction"; i.e., in the absence of other supporting sources, a death certificate is widely considered by genealogists as valid documentation unless/until proven otherwise. However, we recognize that some folks consider it bad form to display the document image itself, and we will accommodate such opinions accordingly.

Always bear in mind that the original contributor may also be related to the memorial and may not want to make the transfer. We use a "golden rule" policy with memorials, believing they belong with someone in their family (not acquaintances). Thus, we employ the FAG "four generation" transfer recommendations as guidelines (e.g., if your spinster great-grand-aunt Joy has no other direct relatives, ask and ye shall receive Joy!).

Being a "graver" is an enjoyable hobby for us, not a competitive endeavor. "Collecting" memorials and garnering large statistics counts is a juvenile attitude, because we don't 'own' the dead (nor the living for that matter). Our goal is to eventually transfer every memorial of whom our families are not related to those who are. Really! We can't take them with us... ;-)

We will always attempt to link as many related memorials and/or list as many relatives as possible, in hopes that someone will come across an ancestor or loved one. We also do a lot of "gap-filling" by supplying details (date, locations, etc.) that we have obtained as part of our own genealogical work. If we include anecdotal data that we can't confirm from another source, it will be noted as such (remember: "History without documentation is fiction"). Other members have and will post fabricated "beliefs" or folklore on memorials they manage, but such is life...

Many thanks to those volunteers who not only list information but also provide a photograph of the gravestones. You may use our headstone photos for "your" own personal (non-commercial) use - no need to ask. Permission for usage of any non-headstone photos will be made on a case basis (that means you need to ask first, please).
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We are pleasant people, always happy to make corrections when politely requested with confirming documentation. Rudeness or overbearing attitude are never tolerated, and any such messages will be "shredded". Based on unsavory prior exchanges, we prefer to no longer communicate using our personal e-mail; please use Leave Public Message to contact us. If you need to communicate with us "privately", you may use the "Suggest A Correction" feature on the memorial of our dear companion, Rex.

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