Member for
10 years · 4 months · 19 days
Find a Grave ID
Not accepting messages.


I joined Find A Grave as enthusiast of cemetery photography. As the years have passed, medical conditions have meant that my focus has changed.

Over 10 years of inappropriate communications have forced me to turn off profile messages. I have received edits, transfer requests, demands, insults, repeated harassment, and threats. NONE of those are appropriate for the messaging function. The same issues forced me to hide my email address several years ago.

Kindly pay attention to the fact that not being open to harassment has nothing whatsoever to do with the validity of edits I send. Being able to turn these functions off would not be possible if the site owners had any issue with contributors doing so. There are way too many contributors who refuse to make any edits if they cannot send (sometimes harrassing and/or abusive) messages and/or emails to those who send edits.. Refusal of valid edits based on such childish "reasoning", especially on a repeated basis, will be summarily reported to site administration.

That photo there? Yes, I am sitting on a headstone. It's my mother's. I don't do that with any other headstone anywhere. I don't own any but Mom's, where my cremains mingled with my baby son's will one day be scattered.

Most of the memorials I have created are for people I am not related to. They once came from picture-taking adventures and subsequently learning that no memorial existed. (When appropriate, I added photographs to existing memorials.) These days most added memorials come from obituaries (current and historic) and from books of cemetery transcripts and funeral home records at my local genealogy library.

If you find that one of your relatives has a memorial made by me, I'll be pleased to transfer management - WITHIN the 4-generation direct relationship guidelines as given in the Find A Grave FAQ. --- Please specify your exact relationship in the "Other" edit!
FAQ #162 states that the 4-generation direct relationships are as follow: "This would be your siblings, parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren." Your spouse's relatives within the 4 generations? Sure, no problem.

Please do *not* waste my time and yours by demanding management of your third cousin once removed ex-husband's college roommate's great-aunt. Or of that old dude from down the block during your childhood whom you have not even thought about for the last 30 years. Virtual cemeteries are a great thing for those folks.

Annnnnnnnd: Kindly DO NOT copy my photographs. Yes, I ***REALLY*** DO mean: DON'T post photographs that I have taken to other memorials or to any other website. Copyright for images posted to Find A Grave remains with the photographer, who in this case reserves the right to not permit further sharing on the Internet. This is not negotiable and photo theft will be appropriately reported.

Valid edits are great. They make me happy. Bogus edits, hysterically insisting that I post cut-and-paste obituaries stolen from the newspaper as biographies, adding photos stolen from obituaries and other websites, and nasty demands bring out my inner Balrog. Nobody enjoys the Balrog, not even the Balrog.

ORIGINAL biographies written by a contributor will be added to a memorial with delight. I pan to give credit to the author if site admins will permit such.

I find graving and genealogy to be pleasant hobbies. Let's keep it pleasant.

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