StillSearchingA silhouette of a person.


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13 years · 6 months · 7 days
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"I am standing on the seashore. A ship spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching her until she fades on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "She is gone." Gone where? The loss of sight is in me, not in her.
Just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone," there are others who are watching her coming. Other voices take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" That is dying.
— Henry Scott Holland

The south is known for its hospitality. I was born and raised here, but lately I'm ashamed of a small area. Mainly Toombs, Emanuel, Treutlen, and Montgomery Counties. Some of the volunteers in these areas need to remember you are just that...volunteers, not CEOS of FAG. You're not perfect, nor are your memorials, but I'm giving up mine to help you with yours. Your attitudes are even worse. You talk down to everyone with overly inflated egos like they are dogs you can kick anytime you want. Then as soon as someone points as your mistakes or puts you in your start crying.."Don't threaten me", "Don't mess with me", "You don't know who I've already messaged", "Don't talk to to me that way because I'm old" or "You don't know who I know", or my favorite..."I'll go to the law and lock you up". Why? Because I pointed out you were wrong? Because you took my pic of my valid memorial, and added to your duplicate memorial? The people of these counties where I grew up absolutely embarrass me with their behavior. Please stop trying to intimidate others, and work on yourself. After that you won't feel the need the need to tear others down. I'm not out to get anyone. I'm out to honor those passed on. I'm not out to get fame ratings. I'm out to see that people aren't forgotten. I'm out to see their gravestone posted, because family has personal photos, but they may not ever see their grave. And sadly, you are the are reason why I no longer list my email publicly.

When I first started volunteering for FAG things were so different and so much better. People were kinder, more considerate, and respectful of others work. Back then people did this not for the numbers, but the enjoyment and the quiet pride you found in honoring a person by creating their memorial. Back then you would trip over other FAG members in the cemetery, and today cemeteries are virtually empty of volunteers. Today very few brave the cemeteries in all different temperatures because they can simply sit on their butts in the ac while adding obits so maybe instead of Find A Grave it should be called Find An Obit. When I started volunteering a lot of graves, if not whole cemeteries were forgotten and neglected. A couple of years later I noticed things were changing for the good. A lot of volunteers helped clean up graves while they searched, but Find A Grave itself made a huge difference. Family members and communities started caring how things looked. I've had family members contact me to say they cleaned up a loved ones grave and could an old pic of the grave be deleted so a prettier one could be put up. In short...Find A Grave probably shamed a lot of people into action, but it also motivated others. If we all continue to sit home and enjoy the ac...Our cemeteries will suffer. Add the obits but get out in the trenches if you can. Find A Grave is based on just that...FINDING A GRAVE.

I use GPS, street signs, and common sense when adding graves to cemeteries. I have one women who cusses me out on a regular basis because I don't use directions she evidently got from Grandma 40 years ago. My Grandmas directions have been useful to me but the state of Georgia doesn't care where my Grandma thought the county line was. For the record I make mistakes and I try to correct them when made aware of them and unlike this woman's theory...I really don't move bodies at night from one cemetery to another just to make her mad :)

And PLEASE we all work hard in our way to contribute to Find A Grave in our own way so lets all be nice to one another. This site is a wonderful site but some people have let it go their heads. I am not perfect in any way and I welcome corrections but preferably from a fellow imperfect find a grave member who understands mistakes do happen not someone who thinks they can treat me like I'm am idiot. Treat others as you want to treated. God Bless You And Please Lets All Be Nice to Each Other.

***Native doesn't doesn't always mean you were born there. It mostly means you lived there all your life. Example: I have lived most all my life in one county, BUT my Mama didn't like the hospital here so I was born 40 miles away in a DIFFERENT county. Its best to not always trust native as the birth place.

***Oldest memorial is the correct memorial whether the person was deceased or not when created.

***A woman doesn't need to reminded how many times she was married in her name on the memorial...Its bad enough we put them all in the BIO...And FAG agrees.

***You can not add pics from the obits. They are not your photos. It is not legal, and in my opinion it is not very thoughtful to the family. Most times they are not even aware of this web site and you are blasting their loved ones picture without their permission. Let the family decide whether they want their loved ones picture on here before, YOU, a stranger make the choice for them. A little kindness goes a long way.

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