(Updated October 20th 2017)
36 years old,and I have, 4 children. I was married for 18 years, it ended up not working out for various reasons, and we ended up getting a divorce. After that point, I met the love of my life, my precious blue eyes;, as I so affectionately used to call him, Scott in 2013. Scott was my everything,I loved him with every fiber of my being, we were always attached at the hip. He was so wonderful to all my children, but had a very close special bond with my youngest son. He actually called him daddy Scott, and you just could not tell Scott that that was not his son lol. DNA did not matter, that was his boy, and he spoiled him rotten. I/we unfortunately lost him to colon cancer, that spread to his liver, and ultimately his lungs in early October of 2017. The early morning hours of October 2nd 2017, was honestly the worst day of my entire life. I never could imagine my life without this person by my side, and yet that's exactly what I am going through. I am going through life day to day without him. I went through one of the deepest darkest depression's I've ever experienced, and it took every ounce of strength I had Within to pull myself out of the dark hole that I had slipped into. Many people ,friends, and family, have come into my life since then, and helped me regain a semblance of the person I used to be before that tragedy hit my life. I'm honestly not completely back yet, and I can say that with all truthfulness and honesty. I'm trying, I'm trying everyday, my fights not done and no I have not given up. But I won't lie, the day that Scott died, he took a piece of my heart with him . We were going to be married in late 2018, but unfortunately we never made it that far. We even talked about the possibility of having a baby at some point. Makes me sad that those things will never come to fruition for us. Memories that never had a chance to be made. All of those hopes and dreams died along with him on that early October morning. I have his ashes on my dresser. I know it might sound weird to some, but it brings me comfort to have them/him close. I still talk to him, and I swear sometimes I think I can sense/feel him near me.