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 Rae Lynn <I>Black</I> Fitzwater

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Rae Lynn Black Fitzwater

  • Birth 19 Dec 1949 New Orleans, Orleans Parish, Louisiana, USA
  • Death 25 Feb 1988 Colorado Springs, El Paso County, Colorado, USA
  • Burial Morgan, Morgan County, Utah, USA
  • Plot 1A 75 10 B
  • Memorial ID 54683799

Daughter of Forest Ring and Dixie Mae Nicol Black.

Spouse: Kevin Thomas Fitzwater.

Written by Rae's husband, Kevin Fitzwater, in 1992 for an LDS publication: “‘To Mourn with Those That Mourn’,”

I loved Rae Lynn the moment I saw her. She was spiritual, beautiful, and athletic, and I knew I would marry her.

The longer we were married, the deeper our love became. She had a love for life and a determination to make the world a better place for those around her. We struggled together, and as we built a loving home for six children, our eternal marriage grew. We established family traditions and gospel-centered goals, nurtured by her total and unconditional love for us.

The idea that she could die so young—at thirty-eight—was inconceivable. Her death was devastating.

Through the months of illness, the pain she suffered had been gently softened by priesthood blessings, the love of many friends, and the peace and comfort that come through an understanding of the gospel. On the afternoon she died, her last words were of her love for me and the children, as she reminded us that we would be together soon. Returning from the hospital, I gathered the children around, and we talked of eternal families, of a loving Father in Heaven, and of the certainty of resurrection and eternal life. And we cried a lot.

People react individually to the death of a loved one. My experience taught me that adjusting to the death of your spouse is a lonely process. The support you need may not come, even from trusted friends, because talking about death is something most people avoid. Talking to a widowed person can be frustrating for people who don’t know what to say and who fear that they may say something harmful.

You who want to offer comfort to someone who is grieving may learn from my family’s experience.

Words are not adequate to express the gratitude I have for ward members and friends who have softened the pain of Rae Lynn’s death by sharing our family’s grief.

As time passes and the memories sweeten, as the healing occurs, slowly and painfully—as I learn that loneliness is all that it is cracked up to be—I realize more acutely than ever the great blessing of an eternal marriage. I see my wife’s reflection every day in my children—their bright eyes, sparkling smiles, and countless freckles. I miss her. I’m hurting. But time and love heal all wounds. And when I look back on this difficult time, some of my most cherished memories will center around good friends—friends who knew I was hurting. Friends who cared enough to help.

Family Members


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  • Created by: VTDickson
  • Added: 8 Jul 2010
  • Find A Grave Memorial 54683799
  • Find A Grave, database and images ( : accessed ), memorial page for Rae Lynn Black Fitzwater (19 Dec 1949–25 Feb 1988), Find A Grave Memorial no. 54683799, citing South Morgan Cemetery, Morgan, Morgan County, Utah, USA ; Maintained by VTDickson (contributor 47202514) .