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 Lisa Michelle <I>Carpenter</I> Hilbe

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Lisa Michelle Carpenter Hilbe

  • Birth 6 Jun 1963 Dallas, Dallas County, Texas, USA
  • Death 11 Mar 2005 Redwood Falls, Redwood County, Minnesota, USA
  • Burial Fort Towson, Choctaw County, Oklahoma, USA
  • Memorial ID 31636967

Obituary from the Hugo Daily News:

Lisa Michelle Hilbe, 41, of Redwood Falls, Minnesota, died unexpectedly at her home on Friday, March 11, 2005. Michelle was born June 6, 1963, in Dallas, Texas and was the daughter of Richard & Phyllis Carpenter of Fort Towson. She grew up in Lancaster, California and moved to Minnesota in 1999. She had lived in Redwood Falls cine February of this year. She had been very involved in the production end of music and was active as a fund raiser for many causes, as well as an advocate for adoptees. Her hobby was cooking.

Survivors include a son, Ricky David Silber of San Diego, California; her mother, Phyllis Carpenter of Fort Towson; sisters, Wyayn Rasmussen and husband Gef of Plymouth, Minnesota, Mary Dawn Hatch and husband Sheldon of Olivia, Minnesota; a special friend, Mark Ellis of Redwood Falls, Minnesota; and nieces and nephews who loved their Aunt "Shoosh." She was preceded in death by her father, Richard, in 2003; and a sister, Karen, in infancy.

A memorial service was held at 2:00pm on April 4, 2005, in the First Christian Church, Hugo, Oklahoma, with Jim Neeland officiating. Burial was at Fort Towson Cemetery.

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My own tribute:

Lisa Michelle Hilbe, Founding Foundling, former Bastard Nation PR Chair, Bastard Goddess as well as self-proclaimed "Talk Show Tart" and "Preggasauras Slayer Extraordinaire", passed away unexpectedly in Redwood Falls, Minnesota, at a mere 41 years of age.

Personally, I am wrestling with exactly how I feel about her passing. I feel a need to grieve in some way but I am, at this writing, bewildered on how to go about it. There are no external tears. I said good-bye to my Michelle a long time ago. It has been a lifetime since I've missed her, but, on some level, I never stopped worrying about her. I do continue to mourn the loss of the woman she could have been. I suppose now is the time to lay that to rest as well.

Michelle was a dynamo that could be loving one moment and totally vicious the next. Her passions soared higher than the stars then they would disintegrate immediately upon reentry. She was the embodiment of a human roller coaster. You either loved her or hated her--often simultaneously. If you knew her, however, you certainly couldn't be indifferent about her. She made her mark in Bastard Nation as a Founding Foundling and that cannot be glossed over, nor should it.


A self-declared "media whore", she was the ideal choice as Public Relations Chair. She was outrageous, obnoxious, motivating, engaging and just plain scary. She could lure the press in with virtually nothing more than a wave of her hand. She could work the media because she knew how to work people. Unfortunately, she failed to realize the key to "relations" was actually being able to "relate".

Her early work within the organization remains influential to this day. In 1996, she stated, "Closed records are one of the last government sanctioned civil rights discriminations in this country. Why is this practice still condoned by the government? How is it that a birth mothers right to privacy supersedes the adoptees very real right to know? We must band together and find a way to stop the unfairness!" She dared to ask the question and double-dog-dared others for the answer. She had no reservations about getting in your face on this—or any—subject. Michelle originally introduced herself to me as "Militant Barbie". Her business card was actually emblazoned with the official title of "BIC" (Bitch In Charge). The precision and planning of the highly successful 'Secrets and Lies' Rally at the Academy Awards in March, 1997, speaks for itself. She was a loud voice for we Bastards; a force to be reckoned with. Sadly, this 'power' was often alienating at best.

There is no denying that the true heart of a bastard beat proudly within her. A heart full of drive, determination and, albeit misguided at times, devotion. This forceful heart was abruptly stilled on March 11, 2005. Even her obituary made note of the fact that she was "an advocate for adoptees." A Bastard until the end.

Michelle so wanted people to see her and notice her... and to be loved. I remember her brilliance which was sadly overshadowed by her own self-destruction. She was one of the funniest people I've ever known. She was one of the most frightening individuals I've ever met. She was, at times, one of the gentlest souls I've ever encountered. She was a classic tortured soul who, I pray, has found the peace she dodged so readily here. She was all of this, and more. But, above it all, she was a Bastard.

"After life's fitful fever he sleeps well."
– Shakespeare: Macbeth

The clock is forever in the Golden Hour for you, 'Chelle, for that is where you always looked your best. And that is where I will always see you.

With Love,
October 3, 2005

Family Members


The top of the headstone reads "Mother" while "In Loving Memory" is inscribed at the bottom.

  • Created by: C A Filius
  • Added: 23 Nov 2008
  • Find A Grave Memorial 31636967
  • C A Filius
  • Find A Grave, database and images ( : accessed ), memorial page for Lisa Michelle Carpenter Hilbe (6 Jun 1963–11 Mar 2005), Find A Grave Memorial no. 31636967, citing Fort Towson Cemetery, Fort Towson, Choctaw County, Oklahoma, USA ; Maintained by C A Filius (contributor 46552381) .