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 Daisy Florence <I>Musk</I> Ockenden

Photo added by Kris Burns, UK

Daisy Florence Musk Ockenden

  • Birth 19 Jul 1921 Dickleburgh and Rushall, South Norfolk District, Norfolk, England
  • Death 20 Jul 2007 St Helens, Metropolitan Borough of St Helens, Merseyside, England
  • Burial Royal Tunbridge Wells, Tunbridge Wells Borough, Kent, England
  • Plot Tunbridge Wells, 1066
  • Memorial ID 20609645

My Mother Daisy Florence Ockenden (nee MUSK)
was born in Dickleburgh, Nr Diss, Norfolk,
on 19th July 1921,
to William & Florance Musk (nee Potter)

She was the eigth of nine children. (5 boys & 4 girls)

She had a happy childhood, on her parents farm & attended the Dickleburgh church school.

On leaving school she went to work as a ladies maid at Rydon Hall.

She later joined the WRAF & during WW2, she met the love of her life - Charles Henry Ockenden (who affectionally called her "Blossoms")

They married on 13 March 1948 & lived in Tunbidge Wells, Kent until retiring to Bexhill on sea, East Sussex in 1972.

They had 2 children - Michael & Chris(tine)

Sadly she nursed Charles until his death from Cancer in 1981, & never fully came to accept her loss.

In 2004, she was mugged & although she was not hurt in the episode, her mental state began to deminish.
She spent the final 3 years of her life with Alzhimer's, barely recognising her family. Her personality completely changing, from a kind, quite & loving person, to a rude, loud & self centered personality.
She was cared for 24 hours a day, in a beautiful care home,
in St Helens. Until sadly, she fell out of bed & fractured her elbow & hip. She sailed through the operation to fix her hip, but failed to get back to her old self, & went very peacefully in her sleep, 3 weeks later with her daughter & son in law by her bed side.

She is now reunited with her beloved Charles, Mum & Pop, & brothers - George, Bill, Reg, Len & Bertie.

She will be sadly missed by her son, daughter, son in law, 3 grand children & sisters - Edie, Vi & Lily, & lifetime friend Patsy Ward.(who has since died on 14th March 2009)

She was cremated on 1st August 2007, in St Helens.
Followed by a celebration of her life & commital at the Kent & Sussex Crematorium, in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, on 22nd August 2007.

My Mother served in the Royal Airforce during WW2. She was a WRAF working in the dining halls, who would feed the pilots their meals before they went off on their bombing missions. It was quite sad really because she would see them leave & then see the empty chairs & tables, of those who did not make it back. But being a very cheerful person, with a laugh my Father used to call her "society ripple" she always made sure that it was a happy place for those who worked under her.
The story goes..........
Mum was busy putting out clean linen on the tables for the officers evening dinner. As usual she was singing to herself and in good spirits.
An officer passed by and on seeing Daisy all cheery said
"You've got enough brass on your face to clean a kettle"
To which Daisy replied
"And you've got enough water in your head to fill it!"
How she got away with the comment I was never told. But it sums up just how quick witted she once was, and how Alzhimers robbed us of her last years on earth.

I first became interested in football in 1966, when the world Cup was held in England. I remember Bobby Charlton in the semi finals and then England winning the trophy. My Mother loved her football, but had no particular team, although her brothers were all Norwich City supporters. My late Father was an Arsenal fan, and could not understand my love for Manchester United. He took me to a few matches & then said it was not fair to leave Mum at home. So the next time United played in London (West Ham) all three of us attended. Poor Dad sat in the middle and he paid dearly for his unfair remarks. If I was not giving him funny looks, Mum was hitting him with excitment, with a rolled up programme. Dad announced on the way home that he was never going to take either of us to a match ever again. He would rather go fishing! Fine, says Mum, Chris & I will go together! So began our following of the Manchester United team whenever they came down south. Our last match together was on 12th April 1992, when I managed to forfil my Mum's wish to go to a Wembly Cup Final. OK it was only a League Cup final (we beat Nottingham Forrest 1-0) but my Mother loved it! (see the photo attached to this memorial)
4th July 2009.
Today our town had a festival in the local park. The weather was not so good, hot & sticky with the odd rain shower. But my youngest wanted to go. I am so glad that we did, as a local band were playing a tune which my Mother used to sing to me in the bath tub, and water would spash everywhere.........

"Cruising Down The River" lyrics written by Beadell Elly.

"If you will go along with me, we'll travel with the tide.
And I will always keep you, on the sheltered side.
However rough the way may be, the waters dark and low.
Thro' all the stormy weather I will always steer you home.
Cruising down the river, on a Sunday afternoon,
With one you love, the sun above, waiting for the moon,
The old accordion playing, a sentimental tune,
Cruising down the river, on a Sunday afternoon.
The birds above all sing of love, a gentle, sweet refrain,
While reeds around all make a sound like softly falling rain.
Just two of us together, plan a honeymoon,
Cruising down the river, On a Sunday afternoon!"

The song is older than me, but obviuosly one of my Mother's favourites from 1949. Happy memories!!!


I have often looked for a poem to add to Mum's memorial. Today I found this which someone else on FAG has used, its simple yet so powerful, I hope that they will not mind me using it for my Mother.


You cannot see me or touch me
But I'm standing next to you
Your tears will only hurt me,
Your sadness makes me blue,
Be brave, and show a smiling face
Let not your grief shine through,
I love you from a different place,
Yet I'm standing next to you.


We go through life so often,
Not stopping to enjoy the day.
And we take each one for granted,
As we travel on our way.
For in your pain and sorrow,
An Angel's Kiss will help you through,
This kiss is very private,
For it is meant for only you.
We never stop to measure,
Anything we just might miss.
But if the wind should blow by softly,
You'll feel an Angel's Kiss.
A kiss that is sent from heaven,
A kiss from up above.
A kiss that is very special,
From someone that you love.
So when your hearts are heavy,
And filled with tears and pain,
And no one can console you,
Remember once again…About the ones you grieve for,
Because you sadly miss
And the gentle breeze you took for granted,
Was just an Angel's Kiss.


Alzheimer's Prayer

Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.

I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you
To be with me at all cost.

Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting,
Can't be different though I try.

Just remember that I need you,
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me,
Love me til my life is done.

Dedicated to my Sweet Mom, with thanks to another
FAG member who also lost their dear Mum as well to Alzheimer's.


How God created mother

God took the fragrance of a flower,
The majesty of a tree,
The gentleness of morning dew,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The beauty of a twilight hour,
The soul of a starry night
The laughter of the rippling brook,
The grace of a bird in flight,
Then God fashioned from these things
A creation like no other,
And when His masterpiece was through,
He called it simply...MOTHER.


A big thank you to Jean,
"Bluejean Blessed with memories"
for sponsoring my Mother's memorial.

Family Members

  • Created by: Kris Burns, UK
  • Added: 24 Jul 2007
  • Find A Grave Memorial 20609645
  • Bluejean♥Blessed w/Memories
  • Find A Grave, database and images ( : accessed ), memorial page for Daisy Florence Musk Ockenden (19 Jul 1921–20 Jul 2007), Find A Grave Memorial no. 20609645, citing Kent and Sussex Cemetery and Crematorium, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Tunbridge Wells Borough, Kent, England ; Maintained by Kris Burns, UK (contributor 46591580) .