“Hey, it’s mom. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you and I love you.”
No matter the age of the child, her children are never far from a mother’s thoughts. A prayer is not whispered without their names being gently lifted. We may not see them or speak to them daily, but they are always with us. They sit at the front of our minds and they take up every bit of the space in our hearts. To think those deeply rooted love notes could be removed from a mother’s song is foolhardy. It can’t happen. Even death isn’t that strong.
Tammy Willett sings her love song loudly, because she wants you to hear it. You have to hear her song.
Domestic Violence changed Tammy Willett’s life on Thanksgiving night 2010, when Tammy’s only daughter, 22-year-old, Brandi Nicole Kubos, was murdered by her boyfriend. He shot her while she was sitting in a vehicle. He then took her body into his house, set the house on fire; placed himself on top of Brandi and committed suicide with a gun. Brandi had never mentioned abuse to her mom. Like the majority of victims, Brandi kept the problem to herself. Tammy had seen her daughter and boyfriend three days earlier, and she seemed happy. The relationship steady. She had no idea her daughter was in a troubled relationship. But Tammy didn’t know the signs of domestic abuse. She didn’t know what to look for, to listen for. She didn’t understand what she was seeing. Brandi’s death changed Tammy’s life. Part of her mission now is to teach others about the signs of abuse. And she wants every woman, man and child to end the silence about intimate violence. And I want the same…victims, please understand…you have nothing to be ashamed of. The problem doesn’t come from you, no matter what you’re being told. The problem lies with the one hurting you.
In Tammy’s Words
I read somewhere that a woman who loses her husband is a widow, a child who loses his parents is an orphan. But there is no name or title for a parent who loses a child.
It never gets easier. My daughter was murdered on Thanksgiving. I will never be able to celebrate Thanksgiving like I did before November 2010. It will forever be a dark memory for me. This has forever changed me. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and miss her. Brandi and I didn’t always see eye to eye; we lived different lifestyles. I called her weekly, she didn’t always answer. But I would leave basically the same message: Hey, it’s mom. I love you and I miss you. I have peace knowing that she knew how much I loved her.
The me that existed before domestic violence intruded into my life is gone forever. I will never get back to the Tammy that existed before. I can never get my daughter back, so I go through each and every day, trying to make a difference in the world. How to give Brandi a voice since she can longer speak for herself. Domestic Violence almost destroyed my marriage because I was even angry at my husband because he still had his two daughters and my only daughter was gone forever. Some how we came thru that. My health suffered because of it. I went into a depression that was so profound that I couldn’t get out of bed to go to work or even take a shower. It took grace to bring me thru that too. I emotionally withdrew from my step children who were also hurting, but I was so far gone that I couldn’t help them, I couldn’t even help myself so how was I supposed to help them? Domestic Violence even hurt me spiritually and I am a born again believer but after her murder I was even angry with the God that I claimed to trust and love. The devastation that Domestic Violence heaped on me as a very proud loving mother of two biological children and two step-children was astronomical, it almost destroyed my existence. I am slowly trying to put back together an existence that somehow makes sense. When I gave birth to my baby girl on Feb 25, 1988, I had dreams, really big dreams of seeing her graduate from college, dreams of helping her get ready for her wedding and watching her walk down the aisle. Dreams of her giving birth to my first grandchild. Domestic Violence stole those dreams from me. I still dream today, but a very different kind of dream. I dream of a world where domestic violence no longer exists and mothers don’t lose their babies to this horrific violence.
Please, if you’re being abused, talk to someone.
If you know someone you feel or fear is in an abusive relationship…Say Something. After Brandi’s death, friends came forward and told her of their suspicions. But it was too late for Brandi.
It isn’t too late for your friend, if you act now.
Much love,
Danita
No matter the age of the child, her children are never far from a mother’s thoughts. A prayer is not whispered without their names being gently lifted. We may not see them or speak to them daily, but they are always with us. They sit at the front of our minds and they take up every bit of the space in our hearts. To think those deeply rooted love notes could be removed from a mother’s song is foolhardy. It can’t happen. Even death isn’t that strong.
Tammy Willett sings her love song loudly, because she wants you to hear it. You have to hear her song.
Domestic Violence changed Tammy Willett’s life on Thanksgiving night 2010, when Tammy’s only daughter, 22-year-old, Brandi Nicole Kubos, was murdered by her boyfriend. He shot her while she was sitting in a vehicle. He then took her body into his house, set the house on fire; placed himself on top of Brandi and committed suicide with a gun. Brandi had never mentioned abuse to her mom. Like the majority of victims, Brandi kept the problem to herself. Tammy had seen her daughter and boyfriend three days earlier, and she seemed happy. The relationship steady. She had no idea her daughter was in a troubled relationship. But Tammy didn’t know the signs of domestic abuse. She didn’t know what to look for, to listen for. She didn’t understand what she was seeing. Brandi’s death changed Tammy’s life. Part of her mission now is to teach others about the signs of abuse. And she wants every woman, man and child to end the silence about intimate violence. And I want the same…victims, please understand…you have nothing to be ashamed of. The problem doesn’t come from you, no matter what you’re being told. The problem lies with the one hurting you.
In Tammy’s Words
I read somewhere that a woman who loses her husband is a widow, a child who loses his parents is an orphan. But there is no name or title for a parent who loses a child.
It never gets easier. My daughter was murdered on Thanksgiving. I will never be able to celebrate Thanksgiving like I did before November 2010. It will forever be a dark memory for me. This has forever changed me. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and miss her. Brandi and I didn’t always see eye to eye; we lived different lifestyles. I called her weekly, she didn’t always answer. But I would leave basically the same message: Hey, it’s mom. I love you and I miss you. I have peace knowing that she knew how much I loved her.
The me that existed before domestic violence intruded into my life is gone forever. I will never get back to the Tammy that existed before. I can never get my daughter back, so I go through each and every day, trying to make a difference in the world. How to give Brandi a voice since she can longer speak for herself. Domestic Violence almost destroyed my marriage because I was even angry at my husband because he still had his two daughters and my only daughter was gone forever. Some how we came thru that. My health suffered because of it. I went into a depression that was so profound that I couldn’t get out of bed to go to work or even take a shower. It took grace to bring me thru that too. I emotionally withdrew from my step children who were also hurting, but I was so far gone that I couldn’t help them, I couldn’t even help myself so how was I supposed to help them? Domestic Violence even hurt me spiritually and I am a born again believer but after her murder I was even angry with the God that I claimed to trust and love. The devastation that Domestic Violence heaped on me as a very proud loving mother of two biological children and two step-children was astronomical, it almost destroyed my existence. I am slowly trying to put back together an existence that somehow makes sense. When I gave birth to my baby girl on Feb 25, 1988, I had dreams, really big dreams of seeing her graduate from college, dreams of helping her get ready for her wedding and watching her walk down the aisle. Dreams of her giving birth to my first grandchild. Domestic Violence stole those dreams from me. I still dream today, but a very different kind of dream. I dream of a world where domestic violence no longer exists and mothers don’t lose their babies to this horrific violence.
Please, if you’re being abused, talk to someone.
If you know someone you feel or fear is in an abusive relationship…Say Something. After Brandi’s death, friends came forward and told her of their suspicions. But it was too late for Brandi.
It isn’t too late for your friend, if you act now.
Much love,
Danita
“Hey, it’s mom. Just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you and I love you.”
No matter the age of the child, her children are never far from a mother’s thoughts. A prayer is not whispered without their names being gently lifted. We may not see them or speak to them daily, but they are always with us. They sit at the front of our minds and they take up every bit of the space in our hearts. To think those deeply rooted love notes could be removed from a mother’s song is foolhardy. It can’t happen. Even death isn’t that strong.
Tammy Willett sings her love song loudly, because she wants you to hear it. You have to hear her song.
Domestic Violence changed Tammy Willett’s life on Thanksgiving night 2010, when Tammy’s only daughter, 22-year-old, Brandi Nicole Kubos, was murdered by her boyfriend. He shot her while she was sitting in a vehicle. He then took her body into his house, set the house on fire; placed himself on top of Brandi and committed suicide with a gun. Brandi had never mentioned abuse to her mom. Like the majority of victims, Brandi kept the problem to herself. Tammy had seen her daughter and boyfriend three days earlier, and she seemed happy. The relationship steady. She had no idea her daughter was in a troubled relationship. But Tammy didn’t know the signs of domestic abuse. She didn’t know what to look for, to listen for. She didn’t understand what she was seeing. Brandi’s death changed Tammy’s life. Part of her mission now is to teach others about the signs of abuse. And she wants every woman, man and child to end the silence about intimate violence. And I want the same…victims, please understand…you have nothing to be ashamed of. The problem doesn’t come from you, no matter what you’re being told. The problem lies with the one hurting you.
In Tammy’s Words
I read somewhere that a woman who loses her husband is a widow, a child who loses his parents is an orphan. But there is no name or title for a parent who loses a child.
It never gets easier. My daughter was murdered on Thanksgiving. I will never be able to celebrate Thanksgiving like I did before November 2010. It will forever be a dark memory for me. This has forever changed me. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and miss her. Brandi and I didn’t always see eye to eye; we lived different lifestyles. I called her weekly, she didn’t always answer. But I would leave basically the same message: Hey, it’s mom. I love you and I miss you. I have peace knowing that she knew how much I loved her.
The me that existed before domestic violence intruded into my life is gone forever. I will never get back to the Tammy that existed before. I can never get my daughter back, so I go through each and every day, trying to make a difference in the world. How to give Brandi a voice since she can longer speak for herself. Domestic Violence almost destroyed my marriage because I was even angry at my husband because he still had his two daughters and my only daughter was gone forever. Some how we came thru that. My health suffered because of it. I went into a depression that was so profound that I couldn’t get out of bed to go to work or even take a shower. It took grace to bring me thru that too. I emotionally withdrew from my step children who were also hurting, but I was so far gone that I couldn’t help them, I couldn’t even help myself so how was I supposed to help them? Domestic Violence even hurt me spiritually and I am a born again believer but after her murder I was even angry with the God that I claimed to trust and love. The devastation that Domestic Violence heaped on me as a very proud loving mother of two biological children and two step-children was astronomical, it almost destroyed my existence. I am slowly trying to put back together an existence that somehow makes sense. When I gave birth to my baby girl on Feb 25, 1988, I had dreams, really big dreams of seeing her graduate from college, dreams of helping her get ready for her wedding and watching her walk down the aisle. Dreams of her giving birth to my first grandchild. Domestic Violence stole those dreams from me. I still dream today, but a very different kind of dream. I dream of a world where domestic violence no longer exists and mothers don’t lose their babies to this horrific violence.
Please, if you’re being abused, talk to someone.
If you know someone you feel or fear is in an abusive relationship…Say Something. After Brandi’s death, friends came forward and told her of their suspicions. But it was too late for Brandi.
It isn’t too late for your friend, if you act now.
Much love,
Danita
No matter the age of the child, her children are never far from a mother’s thoughts. A prayer is not whispered without their names being gently lifted. We may not see them or speak to them daily, but they are always with us. They sit at the front of our minds and they take up every bit of the space in our hearts. To think those deeply rooted love notes could be removed from a mother’s song is foolhardy. It can’t happen. Even death isn’t that strong.
Tammy Willett sings her love song loudly, because she wants you to hear it. You have to hear her song.
Domestic Violence changed Tammy Willett’s life on Thanksgiving night 2010, when Tammy’s only daughter, 22-year-old, Brandi Nicole Kubos, was murdered by her boyfriend. He shot her while she was sitting in a vehicle. He then took her body into his house, set the house on fire; placed himself on top of Brandi and committed suicide with a gun. Brandi had never mentioned abuse to her mom. Like the majority of victims, Brandi kept the problem to herself. Tammy had seen her daughter and boyfriend three days earlier, and she seemed happy. The relationship steady. She had no idea her daughter was in a troubled relationship. But Tammy didn’t know the signs of domestic abuse. She didn’t know what to look for, to listen for. She didn’t understand what she was seeing. Brandi’s death changed Tammy’s life. Part of her mission now is to teach others about the signs of abuse. And she wants every woman, man and child to end the silence about intimate violence. And I want the same…victims, please understand…you have nothing to be ashamed of. The problem doesn’t come from you, no matter what you’re being told. The problem lies with the one hurting you.
In Tammy’s Words
I read somewhere that a woman who loses her husband is a widow, a child who loses his parents is an orphan. But there is no name or title for a parent who loses a child.
It never gets easier. My daughter was murdered on Thanksgiving. I will never be able to celebrate Thanksgiving like I did before November 2010. It will forever be a dark memory for me. This has forever changed me. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and miss her. Brandi and I didn’t always see eye to eye; we lived different lifestyles. I called her weekly, she didn’t always answer. But I would leave basically the same message: Hey, it’s mom. I love you and I miss you. I have peace knowing that she knew how much I loved her.
The me that existed before domestic violence intruded into my life is gone forever. I will never get back to the Tammy that existed before. I can never get my daughter back, so I go through each and every day, trying to make a difference in the world. How to give Brandi a voice since she can longer speak for herself. Domestic Violence almost destroyed my marriage because I was even angry at my husband because he still had his two daughters and my only daughter was gone forever. Some how we came thru that. My health suffered because of it. I went into a depression that was so profound that I couldn’t get out of bed to go to work or even take a shower. It took grace to bring me thru that too. I emotionally withdrew from my step children who were also hurting, but I was so far gone that I couldn’t help them, I couldn’t even help myself so how was I supposed to help them? Domestic Violence even hurt me spiritually and I am a born again believer but after her murder I was even angry with the God that I claimed to trust and love. The devastation that Domestic Violence heaped on me as a very proud loving mother of two biological children and two step-children was astronomical, it almost destroyed my existence. I am slowly trying to put back together an existence that somehow makes sense. When I gave birth to my baby girl on Feb 25, 1988, I had dreams, really big dreams of seeing her graduate from college, dreams of helping her get ready for her wedding and watching her walk down the aisle. Dreams of her giving birth to my first grandchild. Domestic Violence stole those dreams from me. I still dream today, but a very different kind of dream. I dream of a world where domestic violence no longer exists and mothers don’t lose their babies to this horrific violence.
Please, if you’re being abused, talk to someone.
If you know someone you feel or fear is in an abusive relationship…Say Something. After Brandi’s death, friends came forward and told her of their suspicions. But it was too late for Brandi.
It isn’t too late for your friend, if you act now.
Much love,
Danita
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