|Connie Laboy-Torres (#46821366)|
| || member for 8 years, 1 month, 22 days|
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|Bio and Links|
Taino tau, |
I am our family historian and as such I have been actively researching my family tree for the past 15 years and also enjoying part of my retirement life. I married the love of my life, Irving Talavera-Borrero, 43 years ago.
I lovingly treasure the opportunity of adding those members of my family who have crossed over onto this memorial web site. This is in tribute to their life achievements during their short stay.
Our life is but a grain of sand, followed with eternal rest. Please light a candle in remembrance of our spiritual guides, our ancestors.
Taino Ti, Connie
|Messages left for Connie Laboy-To... (6)||[Leave Message]|
|Luana Dawn Alger||Re: Margarita Mann Laboy-Alger|
I'd love any photo's you are wiling to send me of anyone attached to Margie in any way. My email is easy enough: LuanaAlger@yahoo.com
Again, thanks so much! I enjoyed the exchange of information we conveyed to one another. I hope what I offered was as helpful to you as your offering was to me. God bless you and your family.
Luana Dawn Alger
|Luana Dawn Alger||Re: Margarita Mann Laboy-Alger|
I left you a 2nd message yesterday, entitled "P.S..." Find A Grave said they would have to review it (which could take up to 24 hours) before they would allow you to see it, so when you get it please don't think I am coming out of the flow of conversation we had going. I suppose they want to make sure I am not harassing you.
In regards to Margie's 2nd & 3rd brothers, Robert Laboy & David Laboy-Lorenzo, I see you state that David is from another marriage Victor Sr. had (presumably to Nereida Lorenzo)... but who is the mother of Robert? I suppose I am trying to ascertain whether he is a full blooded brother to Margie or a half brother, as I was only told about Victor Jr... And I do not yet know if Victor Jr. had any children, but I will certainly let you know if I find out.
As far as Margie goes, I never believed she was mean spirited at all. In fact, at least for the visit I had there, she seemed quite cordial and appropriate. It was only when my sister began talking of the past that I got a taste of Margie's pain. I do know that my father held me responsible for the things my younger sister said, but at the time all I could do was quietly cry... While Stephanie, who was only a young girl at the time, seemed to soak up every word my sister said and Monserrate continued calling me sensitive in Spanish... I fought very hard not to sob uncontrollably... And my sister yakked on & on & on... She simply would not stop!
I don't really know what my father expected me to do in regards to my then 27 year old sister, nor do I understand why her words were put on my shoulders in the end of it all. I certainly was not at all prepared to travel the emotional path my sister took us on. It was all too much, too deep, and too soon. I did not want to discuss any of these things on my first visit with my father, especially after a 19 year disconnect. All the things she talked about were things I would have discussed with him eventually, but I was more comfortable approaching it all in small doses over a long period of time. For me it was all quite overwhelming. You would think that my crying would have made her stop, but that was simply not the case.
Eventually, both my sister and Margie seemed to get out all they wanted to say and the hostility of it all seemed to cool for the remainder of the evening, though Margie did remain somewhat guarded thereafter. I do recall that, though I said very little as my sister yakked on, Margie seemed to direct the majority of her hostility towards me... Perhaps because I was the eldest?... I really don't know why. During it all, Margie made mention of something that my brother had supposedly told her on a previous visit he had with them. Something that was news to even me. I thought I had reassured her that my angle was not to dole out years of pent up hostility on this visit, nor was I even aware of any fact behind what she claims my brother told her... I can't really say what it was in this forum, but it definitely made me understand more of why her heat shield seemed to reflect more in my direction than my sister's.
After the atmosphere cooled, we went on to have our meal. It was the first time I had ever had a pork roast for Thanksgiving, so it was all very different for me. Although things did seem to calm down, I still left there feeling that I'd never be allowed back because of all that was said when the temperature did rise.
It's difficult to explain, but I definitely got the feeling that Margie had a whole lot of animosity and unresolved emotions of her own. What little she did tell me about her father and her really didn't make any sense to support her final stance, for I felt that if she knew how painful the rejection of her father was to her, why would she ever want to illicit the same feelings in all of us by interfering with the connection that our father clearly wanted to have? But I also know that this is a sensible approach to an emotion that is not very sensible at all... So I simply accepted that my relationship with my father would have to be kept on the down low from here on out. I did not push the issue.
As far as how Margie got the middle name Mann, I honestly do not know where that came from. All I know is that my father made a point to tell me her middle name and specifically how to spell it as I had been doing genetic research long before either of them had passed away. He also told me that she absolutely hated her middle name... I just assumed it was meant to be a shortened & converted version of Manuel or something like that. I really didn't ask why and he did not volunteer any more information about it.
Okay, this chapter of my book is now complete. I do apologize for writing so much, but I am only trying to give you as much information as my brain has retained. Like I said earlier, Margie wasn't as mean spirited as it would seem... At least not in my eyes. She just was mortally wounded by her own life experiences, which only became visible when the tender topic was put on the table. Just because she couldn't cry anymore, it did not mean she was any less sensitive about the issue than I was at the time. She just expressed it differently.
May God be with you and your family and thank you for your continued interest in what little information I can bring to you in regards to your cousin.
Luana Dawn Alger
|Luana Dawn Alger||Re: Victor Laboy and Margarita Laboy Alger|
Well, that certainly explains why Margie was running so hot and cold with us. I do recall on the visit in my father's home, just how bitter and jealous (and oh, so dramatic) she seemed. I remember leaving my father's home feeling that we would never have an opportunity to enter it again... I did not realize then how right I was.
Her mother was there on the Thanksgiving visit in 1992, so I think this is the only reason why it happened at all. Monserrate did seem to calm the air with only her presence, but Margie was a very angry woman. I do understand too well that her anger was a mask she used to hide her deep seated pain, though it was not as well hidden as she had hoped. She did not care that none of us asked for the things that happened in our childhood because she came from the same situation in hers. All she cared about was her outcome and wanted to make sure we were all aware that we were the lucky ones to be able to even be in the presence of our father. I got the distinct feeling that, perhaps, she felt that we owed her some sort of gratitude for allowing this.
I didn't feel then, nor do I now, that we owed Margie anything, for she was a huge part of the reason for the years of desertion by our father in the first place. Unlike Margie, though, we all were ready to accept our father when he was finally able to stand up to her and say no more. The decision was solely my father's to bear. What she doesn't know is that she had no control over whether he maintained further contact with us or not, for when she dropped the ball and actually forbid it of him again, he kept us all in the loop without any knowledge to her whatsoever.
It is very sad how her life turned out and I truly hope she finds peace in the journey that she follows next. I am now 1 year older than she was upon her departure. It seems she was gone all too soon and left a lot behind that needed to be repaired. I pray she can make amends with her own father with the eyes of our Lord watching over both of them... That is all I can do at this point.
Thank you for sharing all the information you did about her. It helps me understand a lot more of where she was coming from. All I knew was what little she had told us on that visit... But I also knew that there had to be more.
- Luana Dawn Alger
|Luana Dawn Alger||Victor Laboy|
If Victor is your uncle, than you surely must know his daughter, Margarita Mann Laboy (1948-1997)... She was my stepmother.
|Josie Jocelyn Barreto||Laboy|
I am Laboy & from Ponce. Juan Jorge Laboy/ Juan Laboy & Ramona Laboy. Hope to hear from you Thank you
|Lone Wolf||RE: Your candle and flowers|
Im glad it made you happy!
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