I joined Find a Grave when I placed my oldest son's information and my father's in 2000. Slowly I began entering family members and then sponsoring the grave. This was my intent until I discovered in July 2009 that other members were entering my family members straight from their obits in the newspaper, I was appauled, but apparently members consider this a service. I decided I needed to get busy and get the family entered before anyone else staked a claim. So far I have only found one individual that refused to allow me to manage my loved ones gave, everyone else has been wonderful and I have met very interesting and nice people.
I must say that I would have been devestated had I found my son's information entered on Find-a-Grave, the connection between a mother and a deceased child perhaps at times is stronger than that between a living child and the mother. I think it is a terrible affront to the mother to do anything without her permission. This is only something a mother who has lost a child can understand.