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RosalieAnn (#46559872)
 member for 13 years, 10 months, 22 days
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Bio and Links
Bio Photo * Born : Baltimore MD - 1937
* Married 1959 to my first and only husband
* Four children 1961 - 1971
* Retired Feb 2000

* First grandchild born in 1980.
* Youngest grandchild of 11 born in 2006.
* First great grandchild born 2012

* Father died 1973
* Grandson died 1994.
* Mother died 2006

I am working on finding the graves of the descendants of Anthony Yerkes which are listed in the "Chronicles of the Yerkes Family With Notes On The Leech And Rutter Families" by Josiah Granville Leach published in 1904, and on finding the graves of those people mentioned in "Sketches of William Hicks, Abner Hicks, Jasper Hicks, George Harris, James Crews, John Earl and something of their Descendants With Comparisons of Present Conditions of Living With Those of Sixty Years Ago" by Titus Thurston Hicks, printed in 1926 and reprinted in 1954. I have virtual cemeteries for those that I have found.

Posting photos on FindAGrave does not automatically put them in the public domain. Please ask if you want to use any photos of mine and tell me what you want them for. My email is rafbeas at aol. If I find my photos used without my permission, I will take all necessary steps to redress the situation.

Do not email transfer requests. Use the Edit tab on the memorial. Transfers outside Find A Grave guidelines will be assessed on a case by case basis. Please tell me your specific relationship to the deceased and explain what you have to contribute to the memorial that I can't add. I am glad to add any links (except to memorials with no burial location) or bio information that you send. I do not add links to memorials where the final disposition has not been determined. Do not put obituaries or other information on the deceased in a flower.

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1- RosalieAnn's maternal ... (64)
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Barrington-Diggs (38)
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Messages left for RosalieAnn (87)[Leave Message]
Judith Lee Howard Shea
RE: in whatever state they are
Your "whatever state the grave is in" statement I am in complete agreement with.

Sometimes I have a problem with a photographer not brushing off a little debris from trees and such before photographing a flat stone, so that part of the transcription can't be seen. Loose debris, of course, you would not consider part of the "state of the grave," I would think.

I agree that the purpose of photographing grave sites is to record accurately what is there. It is not to make them look pretty. And it doesn't matter if some of the people on the stone are still living. This is not

Note: As I figure this out, I think it's important for me to tell you what my thoughts about your thoughts are.

I'll go back and read the longer message you sent, in which you said a lot. That will take longer to absorb. I, myself, am basically a follower of rules.
I like to know what the rules are and I like to follow them and I don't like it when other people don't.

However, like any philosopher, and any daughter of the American Revolution, I can have a serious problem with rules when they are not fair, when they are destructive, when they are made without enough thought and do not cover all the problems that could arise etc.

Humans are fond of making rules and many times rules get made that are not for the best. That is why our country is one of laws and justice, with courts and hearings. (Some of my ancestors were judges, I have found out. More of them were clergymen. So I have "rightness" in my genes.)

Unquestioning obedience to all laws without thought can sometimes lead to great harm, as you must know.

I sent you a message about the name "Brinsmade" etc. and how I understand that with this name, and names like this with varied spelling need to be on F-a-G as on the stone. Another example—I am descended from a long line of Allens. It was variously spelled "Allen" and "Allyn" and "Alyn" So in that case, whatever winds up on the stone would be the name that memorial goes under. People will learn to search various spellings when their ancestor's names were spelled various ways. Some of the very old stones have the name in ways I never thought the name would be spelled. I haven't taken the time to notice how that's dealt with, but from now on I shall be vigilant! I tend to report problems when I see them so that they can be made right.

I really do understand your point of view regarding keeping Thomas's name "Mallewille." But it wasn't the way it was ever spelled — unlike the examples I have cited, as of Brinsmaid, or Allyn.
I don't understand how or why it was written that way. And maybe, in the olde days, everyone would know that it was another way of writing "v" and would "search" under that spelling, too, if they had computers.

What did the folks you consulted on Find-a-Grave with say about the spelling of the name on the stone being not the way it was ever spelled and my desire to have it be the way it was, on the memorial? (It is not only so people can find it, but it is historically accurate.)

Did they say "Just let the hysterical bitch have what she wants?" Or did they shed any light on what to do when this kind of case comes up?


Added by Judith Lee Howard Shea on Oct 24, 2016 12:45 PM
I personally have relatively recent ancestors whose graves are not in a named cemetery with gravestones and in a known cemetery with no gravestone.
I have changed the memorials for Arthur Gray and Mary Gray to non-cemetery burial, which is most likely the case. Arthur Gray died in 1809 when the Chenango area was being settled and was likely buried on his property. Mary died in 1838, according to son Daniel Gray's memorial. Since she never remarried then she is likely buried beside her late husband Arthur. Which of the following would you prefer? 1) Find A Grave linking with the changed info I entered or 2) putting the link in the bios to the child's grave.
Added by cchldrss on Oct 24, 2016 11:10 AM
Judith Lee Howard Shea
RE: NAMe corrections
I just got this email, which you had sent previously, and here you address not caring whether people find the graves of their relatives.

I wrote back just now and asked you, well, what is Find a Grave for, if not to help people find their deceased relatives' graves?

In this email, already written, you have provided an answer, which is:

"I do the work I do so that the dead are 'found' in whatever state they are."

But I still don't understand what your thought is about this.

• WHO do you imagine is finding these "dead?"

• When and why are they being looked for, are you thinking?

• What do you mean, "whatever state they are in?" (since we do not actually see the dead person.)

I am very interested in hearing what you will tell me about this! (Find-a-Grave is relatively new to me and I always thought I understood what its purpose is.)
Added by Judith Lee Howard Shea on Oct 24, 2016 3:55 AM
Judith Lee Howard Shea
RE: Transfer
I am amazed to hear you say "but I do NOT regard FindAGrave as a genealogy site, so my goal is not and never has been for other people to find their relatives. That is of no concern to me at all."

For people to find their deceased ancestors and relatives it WHAT Find-a-Grave is For!! That's why it's called FIND a grave! For what other reason would people want to find graves if not for some reason, such as… Genealogy? (historical people would be an exception, but there are very few of those.)

You state that you DID ask other people their opinion and that's why you finally changed the name. If you had asked those people to begin with, you would not have had to go through all that angst. I was only asking for what was right, and your misunderstanding of what the rules are for was what caused your angst. It's not my fault that you don't understand, and you should have asked for advice at the outset.

I never want to cause someone else angst and suffering. I'm sure you don't, either, but you did cause me quite a bit of distress.

Needing to be "right" is one of the causes of human suffering. My goal was for others to be able to find their relative, not to be "right." Your goal was to be "right." You THOUGHT that my goal was to be "right" ("the way she thinks it should be.") No, it was to help others.

Ways that are "right just because" and cause suffering need to be re-examined.

What do YOU think the website Find-a-Grave is for, if not for people to find their relatives? It can't be for the people who are buried to find themselves, so what else is "finding a grave" for?
Added by Judith Lee Howard Shea on Oct 24, 2016 3:39 AM
RE: Benj Dean family
on its way
Added by cchldrss on Oct 23, 2016 6:59 PM
RE: People with unknown grave locations
People from that time period have long since had their graves destroyed except in rare cases. Personally, I think the bios properly constructed and documented are far superior to the trees on Check mine out.
Added by cchldrss on Oct 23, 2016 6:50 PM
RE: Benj Dean family
I have data which links two of your memorials in that cemetery.

New Jersey Marriages, 1684-1895

Report issue

Name: Benjamin Dean
Spouse: Euphemia Gray
Marriage Date: 8 Jun 1800
County: Hunterdon
State: NJ


Added by cchldrss on Oct 23, 2016 5:19 PM
Grave Site
According to a letter, date 26 September 1939, from Dr. Rubino of the Federal Security Agency, US Public Health Service, my grandfather was buried in grave # 5120 ( a plot set aside for seaman) on Sept. 16, 1939. Do you have any other information. Thank you for your help.
Added by Libby on Oct 23, 2016 1:52 PM
Judith Lee Howard Shea
Brinsmead, Brinsmade, Brinsmaid
Check out # 20998829 if you will. I was looking through this list for the mother of an ancestor whose name was spelled variously "Brinsmade, Brinsmead, Brainsmaid, and Brunsmade in different places.

I noticed that this Mercy Brinsmade (who was born around the time I'm looking at) —on her stone, her and her husband's name is spelled "Brinsmaid" I THINK.

This is an example of how you should always use the name the way it is spelled on the stone. This name was spelled a variety of ways, and none of them is a mistake. (I wrote them and pointed this out just now.)

Spelling the name "Malleville" "Mallewille" is not an example of this, because the name "Malleville" was NEVER spelled "Mallewille" anywhere, except on that gravestone. So to put the Memorial under that name would be wrong to do, because descendants would never look under that name.

Whereas the descendants of Brinsmades WOULD look under its various spellings, because it is well-known that it WAS spelled in a variety of ways.

I wanted to point that out to you because I think that THIS is the kind of case where one should insist that the name be spelled as it is on the stone.

One's thinking needs to be flexible as well as observant, I think. One does not want to cause harm by one's decision, as the decision to spell Malleville "Mallewille" would. I HOPE you see what I'm talking about now!

Added by Judith Lee Howard Shea on Oct 23, 2016 3:12 AM
Benjamin Dean and family
I am interested in finding any other information you might have on this family. Find A Grave# 72808076
Added by cchldrss on Oct 19, 2016 6:47 PM
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