|Birth: ||Apr. 26, 1972|
New Mexico, USA
|Death: ||Oct. 20, 1998|
My brother was only 26 years old when he passed away from alcoholism. He left behind his wife, Melissa, a beautiful daughter Jessica (age 4) and an adorable son Antonio Paul (age 3), sisters Paula & Yvonne and father Paul Sr. He was a my brother, an uncle, a son, a good daddy and loyal friend.
He is preceded in death by his mother Catarina, sister Theresa, Grandparents George & Flora Benavidez, Maria & Julian Bosquez, Uncles Rueben Benavidez, Gilbert Fuentez, Robert Lopez, Cousins Bobby Lopez & Vivian Silva, & Aunty Rosemary Trujillo.
My brother's admiration for our dad was overwhelming. He loved being a mechanic just like dad. Just a year after his death, my mother Catarina followed him. She just couldn't be without him.
The day before he died, I went to visit him. He was lying on the floor, not able to move or hardly speak, he was covered with sores, and yellow. He didn't want help. We would take him to the hospital over and over, and he would become angry and leave.
While he was laying down, I talked to him, telling him how much I missed him. Trying to encourage him to get help. He wouldn't respond. He would just look at me like he was lost. He would mumble but I couldn't understand him.
I caressed his hair, touched his face and covered him with blankets. When it was time for me to leave, I told him that I loved him and I began to cry. As I was walking out the door, he yelled loudly, "I love you, sis".
He is truly missed by all of our family. We don't know why he didn't want to be in this world. The question haunts us forever. He left without saying goodbye and left a emptiness in our hearts.
Paul, being without you, there are no words, just pain. I ask why didn't you say goodbye. I ask why when you had so much to live for.
I remember a couple of weeks before you died, I helped you put your shoes on, and then you asked for a Mountain Dew. You said that you loved me and that I was beautiful. I will never forget my BIG brother. You were amazing, you just didn't know it. I miss you with all that I am. Life without you is quiet and lonely. I miss you funny jokes and your singing, but most of all I miss your impressions of rap singers.
I received a call on Oct 20, 1998, at about 3 am. My mother was crying, saying "we lost him, he's gone. Why Paula, why my son. He was only 26."
A few hours later, my mom and my brother's wife Melissa arrived at my house. My mom cried for hours. I was only numb, I didn't believe it. I didn't want to. We tried to talk to him, we tried to save him. He had two little kids.
He wouldn't do this.
When we went to make the funeral arrangements, I just had to see my brother, to know that this was real and not a dream. I had never lost anyone that close to me. As I walked into the back room, I remember feeling sick, numb & lost. He was lying on a table covered only with a sheet. He had alot of facial hair that I didn't remember. I whispered to him, telling him how much I missed him. I begged him to please come back, that mom and dad can't live without you. I told him that he had two little kids who needed him. I hugged him with all that I am. I realized how well he looked. He didn't look sick anymore. He looked like I remembered him. I didn't want to leave him, I wanted to sleep in that room with him, just like we used to as kids. We used to stay up late and talk until late hours and we used to throw things at each other, mom and dad thought we were all asleep.
At his funeral, he looked peaceful, and didn't look sick anymore. All the pressures he had went away and all the sadness he had seemed distant. My mom cried and held him, she just wouldn't let him go, my father (he was in a wheelchair) was crying, he tried to stand, everyone helped him to the coffin, he touched his face, held his hands and my father was crying like a baby, I don't remember ever seeing my father cry. He almost fell and my mother hugged him. My dad, mother, sister and I just wouldn't leave his coffin. I caressed my brother's face and told him that he was the best brother a sister could ever have. I remember his black tennis shoes that he was wearing on that day. When he first got them, he was so proud. He said that he bought his whole family shoes. And he showed me his black ones and started dancing. We buried him with those shoes.
The sadness to my brothers death, my mother couldn't deal with it, and she died a year later. My father, even now in 2009, has never recovered from both their deaths. He cries alot, he tells me he wishes that he was with them. He shows me memories of Paul Jr., he tells me stories of my mother. He suffers with each breath he takes. I know that when he dies, I will be very very sad, but comforted to know that he will be with them. I know that my dad, many times, has wanted to die.
He is so very missed because he would always be the protector. He was 6'3" and 225 lbs. I never thought death would win. His depression and no hope for life got the best of him. I wish I could have done things differently. I wanted to save him.
I will never forget him, he is a part of me everyday until I close my eyes forever. The Angels will take care of you Paul. Now you can finally rest.
Brother, we will ride your 3 wheeler and my pink Huffy together again someday. We will climb our tree clubhouse and make the bees nest mad. I miss you.
I can't tell you enough to love the people in your life. It is so hard to accept their deaths, although I know that they are at peace. My life is lonely and sad. I see them everywhere, at the mall, restaurants, the movie theatre, I sometimes stop and look and hope if I run up to that person that looks like them, maybe it might just be them. Your heart just doesn't ever forget those that have the strongest influence in your life. Call your mom and dad, your brother and sisters and tell them how much they mean to you. It may be their time and the opportunity may pass you. Say thank you to your parents for the discipline and love that they gave you for they are leaving someday too. We all have our place in this world and be the best you can so others will remember how wonderful you were. Make changes in your perception of life. Be strong and encourage others to do their best.
Speak kindly and
leave the rest to God.
Thank you to all who visit my family, it absolutely comforts me to see all of the unselfish people in this world. You take the time to help and remember others. Thank you for all the encouragement you give me and my family. I will never forget you.
Thank you so very very much Chrissy for sponsoring my brother and mom's memorial page. It's a blessing to have wonderful people like you in this world. Thank you again Chrissy.....
Paulino Felan Bosquez (1948 - ____)
Catarina Benavidez Bosquez (1951 - 1999)
Paulino Benavidez Bosquez (1972 - 1998)
Theresa Rosemary Benavidez Bosquez (1973 - 1973)*
El Reno Cemetery
Created by: In Loving Memory of Mi F...
Record added: Sep 21, 2004
Find A Grave Memorial# 9487798