August 2007 - 26 years after Aunt Jackie's death - I stand in Potter's Field on the grounds of NJ State Hospital - Ancora in Camden co., New Jersey ~ I cried as I placed a small Impatients plant beside her grave marker ... impatience was NOT an atribute for this aunt whom I'd never met. I asked forgivness for relatives who failed her - subsequently not having Family nor Fiend when her end came ... I hope it was peaceful.
Now that I've found my Aunt ... her final resting place a pauper's grave ... marked only by a 3" x 5" metal plate which is now detached and, in time, will become lost under some state employee's lawnmower ! (PHOTO)
One cannot imagine the pain, shame, humiliation, loneliness and despair she must have felt ~ If years of medication had helped her become compliant and to deal with this brain disease -- what unknown bizarre, frightening episodes and outbursts she may have acted out under the influences of frightening and unorganized thinking and mental illness --
Institutionalized by her husband six days before their son's 4th birthday - for 40 years she was moved to four hospitals -- and then died all alone !! ~ Happy 4th Birthday, Son and you'll never see your mother again ! No one who knew her would ever see my Aunt Jackie again !
Before returning home, I stoped at a local nursery. Glancing around inside the hot-house, I spotted the hind-end of a butterfly - unnaturally still - yet boldly sticking out from within the bud of a plant. (PHOTO) Gently placing the b'fly on a tissue, I brought it home with me ... I call it the "silent by-stander" as it remains on my computer desk.
All in all -- it's been a wearying day ... if you need any questions answered -- ask away ...
g'ma ellie [email protected]
Now that I've found my Aunt ... her final resting place a pauper's grave ... marked only by a 3" x 5" metal plate which is now detached and, in time, will become lost under some state employee's lawnmower ! (PHOTO)
One cannot imagine the pain, shame, humiliation, loneliness and despair she must have felt ~ If years of medication had helped her become compliant and to deal with this brain disease -- what unknown bizarre, frightening episodes and outbursts she may have acted out under the influences of frightening and unorganized thinking and mental illness --
Institutionalized by her husband six days before their son's 4th birthday - for 40 years she was moved to four hospitals -- and then died all alone !! ~ Happy 4th Birthday, Son and you'll never see your mother again ! No one who knew her would ever see my Aunt Jackie again !
Before returning home, I stoped at a local nursery. Glancing around inside the hot-house, I spotted the hind-end of a butterfly - unnaturally still - yet boldly sticking out from within the bud of a plant. (PHOTO) Gently placing the b'fly on a tissue, I brought it home with me ... I call it the "silent by-stander" as it remains on my computer desk.
All in all -- it's been a wearying day ... if you need any questions answered -- ask away ...
g'ma ellie [email protected]
August 2007 - 26 years after Aunt Jackie's death - I stand in Potter's Field on the grounds of NJ State Hospital - Ancora in Camden co., New Jersey ~ I cried as I placed a small Impatients plant beside her grave marker ... impatience was NOT an atribute for this aunt whom I'd never met. I asked forgivness for relatives who failed her - subsequently not having Family nor Fiend when her end came ... I hope it was peaceful.
Now that I've found my Aunt ... her final resting place a pauper's grave ... marked only by a 3" x 5" metal plate which is now detached and, in time, will become lost under some state employee's lawnmower ! (PHOTO)
One cannot imagine the pain, shame, humiliation, loneliness and despair she must have felt ~ If years of medication had helped her become compliant and to deal with this brain disease -- what unknown bizarre, frightening episodes and outbursts she may have acted out under the influences of frightening and unorganized thinking and mental illness --
Institutionalized by her husband six days before their son's 4th birthday - for 40 years she was moved to four hospitals -- and then died all alone !! ~ Happy 4th Birthday, Son and you'll never see your mother again ! No one who knew her would ever see my Aunt Jackie again !
Before returning home, I stoped at a local nursery. Glancing around inside the hot-house, I spotted the hind-end of a butterfly - unnaturally still - yet boldly sticking out from within the bud of a plant. (PHOTO) Gently placing the b'fly on a tissue, I brought it home with me ... I call it the "silent by-stander" as it remains on my computer desk.
All in all -- it's been a wearying day ... if you need any questions answered -- ask away ...
g'ma ellie [email protected]
Now that I've found my Aunt ... her final resting place a pauper's grave ... marked only by a 3" x 5" metal plate which is now detached and, in time, will become lost under some state employee's lawnmower ! (PHOTO)
One cannot imagine the pain, shame, humiliation, loneliness and despair she must have felt ~ If years of medication had helped her become compliant and to deal with this brain disease -- what unknown bizarre, frightening episodes and outbursts she may have acted out under the influences of frightening and unorganized thinking and mental illness --
Institutionalized by her husband six days before their son's 4th birthday - for 40 years she was moved to four hospitals -- and then died all alone !! ~ Happy 4th Birthday, Son and you'll never see your mother again ! No one who knew her would ever see my Aunt Jackie again !
Before returning home, I stoped at a local nursery. Glancing around inside the hot-house, I spotted the hind-end of a butterfly - unnaturally still - yet boldly sticking out from within the bud of a plant. (PHOTO) Gently placing the b'fly on a tissue, I brought it home with me ... I call it the "silent by-stander" as it remains on my computer desk.
All in all -- it's been a wearying day ... if you need any questions answered -- ask away ...
g'ma ellie [email protected]
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