Eulogy
My mother, Pauline Stacey passed away after a brief illness, on April 8, at age 90 in her home at St Therese Villa. In accordance with her wishes, we are here today to celebrate her life as she did not want us to mourn her passing. Two things to remember:

1)She appreciated her long, happy and productive life.
2)She knew she was well loved and appreciated the high level of care provided by her immediate family.

Mom loved colorful clothing – the brighter the better! I purchased this outfit specifically for today and wear it in her memory. She loved when I bought her gaily colored outfits and would clap her hands and say with great delight "It appeals to the gypsy in my soul" and then would laugh. So Mom – this one is for you – I hope you like it!

My brother, Sam, had a heart attack two days before Mom passed away and, although he is unable to be here today, his thoughts are with us.

Mom was born Apolonia Jakubauckas in Scotland, on November 21, 1919. Her father, Jonas, immigrated to Scotland before the start of WWI from Lithuania to escape persecution. He found employment in the coalmines near Glasgow and worked for minimum wages. Her mother, Ona, although born in Scotland, was also of Lithuanian descent. Pauline was the first live child born into this poor family of thirteen and, as a result, left school at age fourteen to help support her siblings. Mom changed her name to Pauline Smith to escape prejudice during WWII.

Knowing Mom, as an adult, one can only imagine what she must have been like then – outgoing, flirtatious and perhaps even a little outrageous. I'm sure many men immediately fell under her spell. While working in Dundee as a waitress she met, and married, Kenneth Stacey, a soldier and dry-land farmer, from Beacon Hill, Saskatchewan. Dad didn't stand a chance – he adored her on sight and that devotion lasted a lifetime. After their marriage in 1945, she immigrated to Canada in 1946, on the Aquitania. Mom told of tossing her dirty underwear out the cabin portal as she didn't want to spoil the experience doing laundry.

Life on the isolated farm in northern Saskatchewan was both difficult and lonely for Mom as money was a scarce commodity and the nearest neighbor was miles away on a dirt track. A city girl, Mom could not comprehend the nearest buses, shops, theaters and restaurants were over 150 miles from the farm by horse and buggy – she thought Dad was joking – and only learned he wasn't, upon arrival.

With Dad and her in-law's assistance, Mom eventually adapted to farm life and learned the difference between roosters and hens, how to milk a cow, grow vegetables and drive a tractor. Initially, Mom wanted only roosters in her flock as they were so colorful and was disappointed to learn they didn't produce eggs! Mom never learned to drive a car as steering anything with hidden wheels was completely beyond her capabilities. She excelled as a back-seat-driver though and Patrick, and I, were always amazed Dad withstood her non-stop "driving advice" with good grace. She occasionally attempted to be my "navigator" but stopped as I was not as receptive as Dad.

Mom talked non-stop whenever the opportunity arose, she loved company and being the centre of attention. Dad escaped to the shop on the farm and the garage in Lethbridge when the barrage of words became too much for him to bear. As a child, I escaped to the fields, woods and streams and developed a deep love of nature.

My brother, Sam and I were born and raised on the farm near Pierceland, Saskatchewan. Mom started a market garden in the 1960's, with my brother, and I, the unpaid laborers. She excelled at this endeavor and made many casual acquaintances in addition to the Cole family who became life-long friends. Doug and Denise thank you for everything you, and your family, did for my parents over the past 40 plus years.

It was around this time that my parents met the McArthur family, as well. Donna will share some of her memories of Mom with you today and Lloyd will play Amazing Grace, as he did at my Dad's Memorial Service. Thank you, Lloyd and Donna, my parents treasured your friendship.

There is no doubt in my mind that Mom loved my brother, and I, but the arrival of her first grandchild, Patrick, freed her to love unconditionally. We all fell in love with Patrick the minute he was born – who wouldn't love someone so perfect? I'm sure Sam's first son, Scott, would have also been adored but tragically, shortly after birth, he succumbed to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and my brother's marriage crumbled.

From birth, my daughter, Jo-Anne, was cherished by the whole family. Patrick and Jo-Anne normally spent July and August with their Grandparents in Saskatchewan and, as a result, they became very close. During one of these visits Patrick helped his grandparents select and transplant dozens of spruce trees to the farmyard. When I was in Cold Lake last month, to attend Sam's third wife's funeral, I visited the farm and took photos of the trees for Mom and Patrick. They were delighted to see how well they were doing and how large they had become.

Tragedy struck our family in 1977 when Jo-Anne was killed by a hit-and-run driver on her 3rd day of kindergarten. I don't think any of us ever fully recovered from that devastating loss.

Sam and his second wife, Jeannie, had two sons, Kenneth and Bill. Mom and Dad adored both of these Grandsons too and, although they didn't get to spend as much time with them as they did with my kids, Mom often would say "Ken is so special" and short minutes later "Billy is so special". I always agreed as Ken and Bill are both very special to me too. Maurice, Jeannie's second husband, was, and continues to be, a terrific role model for Ken & Bill. I think of him as a brother and would like to thank him, on behalf of my parents, for everything he has done for the boys and for his friendship over the years.

In 1991 my parents sold the farm and moved to Lethbridge. The ensuing nine years proved to be the happiest, and most comfortable, of their married lives. The Sugimoto family welcomed Mom and Dad into their homes, and lives, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your hospitality, on behalf of my late parents. I don't think you know how much you all meant to them. Kei and Ken's teasing and camaraderie were greatly appreciated. Harry's late brother, Chris, would drive them to their home with the City bus if he saw them on the street and his widow, Yvonne, was loved dearly. Mom and Dad would often go to Wal-Mart, not to shop, but to visit June whose wry sense of humor they found irresistible. Dad enjoyed talking about farming with Harry's Dad Nim, Uncle Nob, Doug and Mark. Mom thoroughly enjoyed visiting with Harry's Mom Fumi, Auntie Kaz, Uncle Mac, Auntie Reyko and Auntie Mae as well as Edina Dowler and Mrs. Plausteiner. They were both very proud of Dawn and Naomi's accomplishments. The Sugimoto grandchildren's report cards were duly admired and when Char started working at the Family Medical Clinic Mom was delighted. Mandee's adventurous spirit and travels were discussed at great length and they were always eager to hear of her exploits. They idolized my husband, Harry, and always spoke of him in glowing terms. Christmas, New Year's Day, Easter, Father's Day and Thanksgiving with the Sugimoto family were annual highlights for them. Thank you all for adding to the quality of my parents lives.

Mom should have been a biographer as she excelled at learning the life story of everyone she met and subsequently shared that information with family and friends. She was fascinated by owls and had a massive collection of owl pictures, plates and ornaments making the choice of a gift very easy. Mom appreciated classical music and you will hear two of her favorites today. She loved to talk and spent hours every month conversing with friends and family across the country, only after 6:00 PM and on weekends though! I am sure TELUS rued the day they offered her the Yak-more service as I recall one monthly bill showed more than 4,000 long-distance minutes all for the princely sum of $19.99. As time progressed, and her dementia worsened, that pleasure was taken from her. She initially substituted word puzzles and then resorted to reading romance novels to pass the time. I think she may have been looking for the more salacious passages as she once asked me to take her to a specific movie only later admitting she did so because she heard there were nude scenes. She was very disappointed (at age 85) that Richard Gere did not appear nude but admired the young actor that was.

Mom had many health issues including angina, atrial fibrillation, congestive heart failure, deafness, vascular dementia, Alzheimer's disease, a life-long history of depression, borderline diabetes, high blood pressure, incontinence, high cholesterol, hyper-hydrosis, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, poor eyesight, and many other minor ailments. Mom greatly appreciated Dr. Cal Stewart and his staff as they provided the level of care and attention she needed. Over the past 25 years I was told on numerous occasions, by various doctors, that Mom may not have long to live. Fortunately they were wrong. At one point, when Mom was hospitalized for 3 months I was told she should be placed in palliative care. I became her self-appointed personal trainer encouraging (demanding?) the daily level of physical activity required for her to regain her physical strength. Mom didn't always appreciate my efforts and although she wanted to have a long and healthy life, she also loved rich food and being pampered. Needless to say we disagreed, but since I was younger, faster and more determined she complied with my wishes and complained later to anyone willing to listen. This cycle was repeated over the years and, each time, once she was strong enough, the Bridges program saved us both by providing the level of attention Mom craved while at the same time getting her to "work-out".

After Dad passed away in December 2000 Patrick, realizing his beloved Grandmother was incapable of living on her own, gave up his life in Calgary to care for her. He cooked, cleaned, shopped and did her laundry while working full-time. Mom and Dad always watched soap operas together and, in an attempt, to maintain this tradition Patrick taped their favorite soap and spent Sunday's with Grammy watching "The Soaps". Patrick, I would not have been capable of doing everything that you did for her over the past ten years. Thank you Patrick, thank you. Your love and devotion to each other was amazing.

It became obvious to all Mom needed more care than Patrick could provide and in June 2008 we moved Mom to Garden View Lodge where she resided happily until November last year. In late October Mom had a bradycardia attack (her heart rate was 30 beats per minute) and she had to be flown to Calgary by Stars Air Ambulance to have a pacemaker implanted. In the pandemonium I neglected to tell anyone she was afraid to fly and by the time the helicopter landed at the Foothills Hospital she had been given so many sedatives the operation was postponed a full day. Mom was extremely entertaining although, at the time, I was too concerned to see the humor.

The rapid deterioration in her physical and mental condition resulted in a three week hospital stay in 5 different rooms and 2 different hospitals, a move to Extendicare (where we learned that she could speak Polish) and then finally a room became available in St Therese Villa in early December. After getting her settled I asked what she thought of St Therese and she responded: "I'm living in the lap of luxury, who could ask for more?" Cal Stewart, Mom's doctor says of all of his patients Mom was the one that adjusted the most readily to different levels of care without complaint.

I recently asked Mom if there was anything she would change about her life. She said "No, I have everything I could ever want and I'm independent". This puzzled me as, to me, she was not independent. For years she relied on others to, among other things, cook for her, clean her room, help her bathe and dress, do her laundry, look after her financial and legal matters, choose her entertainment, tell her when and which meds to take, do her shopping and match-up her "outfits". I asked what she meant and she said: "I have enough money to buy anything I want, I have good friends to visit with, I enjoy a good joke and have plenty of food to eat." Apparently "independence" can have different meanings to different people and I am very glad that Mom, even so close to the end of her life, felt that she was independent.

Mom loved rich food. I have always been "the food police" and attempted to limit Mom's intake of "bad food" which she did not appreciate. Marci from LA Chefs gently reminded me that not everyone could eat the items on my list and today there will be some sensible choices too. Thank you, Marci, for being the food police. Everyone here has been touched by Mom either directly, or indirectly, and I know she would have been delighted to see each and every one of you. Thank you for coming to support us during this time in our lives. I hope all of you will stay and share some of Mom's favorite foods, and your memories, with us.

GRANDCHILDREN:
William Henry Stacey

Scott Allen Stacey