When people first met Lily, she struck them as a person who was demanding and wanted her family to follow her instructions. She walked around the apartment telling everyone what to do, how to do it, and at times when to do it. Her children were all adults, still she kept her ground and pushed her point.
As we got to know her a bit better, we found Lily had an inner need-to-do-for and to protect her family. Deep down Lily needed her children more then they needed her, but she would not show that part of herself. She was there for her family – totally – and she would do battle with any outsider on her children's behalf.
Why did Lily become so protective of her family? Her earlier years were hard and difficult as a mother. She experienced two of her children pass away long before their time. She also experienced the difficulty in having four of her oldest children taken and raised by foster parents. However she elected that course of action, to give them something better which they needed to grow mentally and physically to step into a harsh world, as she knew it. Her husband was abusive, both to her and to the four oldest children, and she felt that it was best to take them out of that abusive situation. But she only gave up the material and physical part of those four, not the love for them, as this type of caring and love took great courage and at the same time took a lot out of her.
She was a tough woman and a tough mother and when she moved to Des Moines in 1977, her babies were all with her. Babies did I say? To her they were. They were the seven youngest of the fourteen children and she was not about to let anyone part her from them ---Not Now---Not Again.
Lily pulled every rope to assure her family had a roof over their head and food on the table. She believed in her children and defended them wholly. She portrayed a stern, hard, and controlling person and a non-family member did not stand up to her, in fact, she gained their respect or they were no longer welcomed in her house.
She truly believed in her family and defended them. Well at least until the children had children, then naturally the grandchildren were defended, and yes even the great-grandchildren. Lily always protected the youngest.
All this was only the exterior part of Lily and some had the pleasure of realizing the interior part, much of what her family knew and felt. The Lily we grew to know was a soft, caring, and overly loving mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She cherished her family, putting aside the differences. When holidays and birthdays came around, she had an inner glow of excitement. While we were trying to squeeze through all the chaos, she engulfed it and drew it in like a sponge.
She dearly enjoyed talking about her times and how each of her children tried to get the best of her. She always knew this and seemed to keep the upper hand in the end. When I said she liked to talk, I mean she really enjoyed talking. Once she got started she could really go. She wanted you to know her thoughts and if you just happened to leave the room she would look straight ahead continue talking. But these were her memories and she held onto those memories.
Many times over the years, the family spent many hours and days with her in the hospital, when she needed special medical care. She always knew her children would be there and she would work them as hard if not harder then the nursing staff. These were the times her need for her family became more apparent. Her needing her family was starting to surface and now she was the recipient of the care she so desperately gave in prior years.
In the past few years Lily needed in home care. She was deeply concerned she was a burden to Linda and all that cared for her in Linda's absence. But that was not burden, it was the same care and love returned to the giver. She was not a burden; she was 'Mother'.
Lily truly needed her children. Was Lily afraid of dying? Yes, she was. When asked why, she replied because my children would be deeply hurt and sad to have her gone'. And Lily was right, for we will always be a child in relation to our mother. You have to believe Lily knew this, having at one time lost her mother. Lily also knew you never prepare yourself for this day. But she also realized this day would come.
Lily died because of a Heparin overdose given by medical staff
Lily's Great grandsons
Christopher James Ford
memorial 110095373
Jason Donivon Counterman Ford
Memorial# 134390572
As we got to know her a bit better, we found Lily had an inner need-to-do-for and to protect her family. Deep down Lily needed her children more then they needed her, but she would not show that part of herself. She was there for her family – totally – and she would do battle with any outsider on her children's behalf.
Why did Lily become so protective of her family? Her earlier years were hard and difficult as a mother. She experienced two of her children pass away long before their time. She also experienced the difficulty in having four of her oldest children taken and raised by foster parents. However she elected that course of action, to give them something better which they needed to grow mentally and physically to step into a harsh world, as she knew it. Her husband was abusive, both to her and to the four oldest children, and she felt that it was best to take them out of that abusive situation. But she only gave up the material and physical part of those four, not the love for them, as this type of caring and love took great courage and at the same time took a lot out of her.
She was a tough woman and a tough mother and when she moved to Des Moines in 1977, her babies were all with her. Babies did I say? To her they were. They were the seven youngest of the fourteen children and she was not about to let anyone part her from them ---Not Now---Not Again.
Lily pulled every rope to assure her family had a roof over their head and food on the table. She believed in her children and defended them wholly. She portrayed a stern, hard, and controlling person and a non-family member did not stand up to her, in fact, she gained their respect or they were no longer welcomed in her house.
She truly believed in her family and defended them. Well at least until the children had children, then naturally the grandchildren were defended, and yes even the great-grandchildren. Lily always protected the youngest.
All this was only the exterior part of Lily and some had the pleasure of realizing the interior part, much of what her family knew and felt. The Lily we grew to know was a soft, caring, and overly loving mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She cherished her family, putting aside the differences. When holidays and birthdays came around, she had an inner glow of excitement. While we were trying to squeeze through all the chaos, she engulfed it and drew it in like a sponge.
She dearly enjoyed talking about her times and how each of her children tried to get the best of her. She always knew this and seemed to keep the upper hand in the end. When I said she liked to talk, I mean she really enjoyed talking. Once she got started she could really go. She wanted you to know her thoughts and if you just happened to leave the room she would look straight ahead continue talking. But these were her memories and she held onto those memories.
Many times over the years, the family spent many hours and days with her in the hospital, when she needed special medical care. She always knew her children would be there and she would work them as hard if not harder then the nursing staff. These were the times her need for her family became more apparent. Her needing her family was starting to surface and now she was the recipient of the care she so desperately gave in prior years.
In the past few years Lily needed in home care. She was deeply concerned she was a burden to Linda and all that cared for her in Linda's absence. But that was not burden, it was the same care and love returned to the giver. She was not a burden; she was 'Mother'.
Lily truly needed her children. Was Lily afraid of dying? Yes, she was. When asked why, she replied because my children would be deeply hurt and sad to have her gone'. And Lily was right, for we will always be a child in relation to our mother. You have to believe Lily knew this, having at one time lost her mother. Lily also knew you never prepare yourself for this day. But she also realized this day would come.
Lily died because of a Heparin overdose given by medical staff
Lily's Great grandsons
Christopher James Ford
memorial 110095373
Jason Donivon Counterman Ford
Memorial# 134390572
When people first met Lily, she struck them as a person who was demanding and wanted her family to follow her instructions. She walked around the apartment telling everyone what to do, how to do it, and at times when to do it. Her children were all adults, still she kept her ground and pushed her point.
As we got to know her a bit better, we found Lily had an inner need-to-do-for and to protect her family. Deep down Lily needed her children more then they needed her, but she would not show that part of herself. She was there for her family – totally – and she would do battle with any outsider on her children's behalf.
Why did Lily become so protective of her family? Her earlier years were hard and difficult as a mother. She experienced two of her children pass away long before their time. She also experienced the difficulty in having four of her oldest children taken and raised by foster parents. However she elected that course of action, to give them something better which they needed to grow mentally and physically to step into a harsh world, as she knew it. Her husband was abusive, both to her and to the four oldest children, and she felt that it was best to take them out of that abusive situation. But she only gave up the material and physical part of those four, not the love for them, as this type of caring and love took great courage and at the same time took a lot out of her.
She was a tough woman and a tough mother and when she moved to Des Moines in 1977, her babies were all with her. Babies did I say? To her they were. They were the seven youngest of the fourteen children and she was not about to let anyone part her from them ---Not Now---Not Again.
Lily pulled every rope to assure her family had a roof over their head and food on the table. She believed in her children and defended them wholly. She portrayed a stern, hard, and controlling person and a non-family member did not stand up to her, in fact, she gained their respect or they were no longer welcomed in her house.
She truly believed in her family and defended them. Well at least until the children had children, then naturally the grandchildren were defended, and yes even the great-grandchildren. Lily always protected the youngest.
All this was only the exterior part of Lily and some had the pleasure of realizing the interior part, much of what her family knew and felt. The Lily we grew to know was a soft, caring, and overly loving mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She cherished her family, putting aside the differences. When holidays and birthdays came around, she had an inner glow of excitement. While we were trying to squeeze through all the chaos, she engulfed it and drew it in like a sponge.
She dearly enjoyed talking about her times and how each of her children tried to get the best of her. She always knew this and seemed to keep the upper hand in the end. When I said she liked to talk, I mean she really enjoyed talking. Once she got started she could really go. She wanted you to know her thoughts and if you just happened to leave the room she would look straight ahead continue talking. But these were her memories and she held onto those memories.
Many times over the years, the family spent many hours and days with her in the hospital, when she needed special medical care. She always knew her children would be there and she would work them as hard if not harder then the nursing staff. These were the times her need for her family became more apparent. Her needing her family was starting to surface and now she was the recipient of the care she so desperately gave in prior years.
In the past few years Lily needed in home care. She was deeply concerned she was a burden to Linda and all that cared for her in Linda's absence. But that was not burden, it was the same care and love returned to the giver. She was not a burden; she was 'Mother'.
Lily truly needed her children. Was Lily afraid of dying? Yes, she was. When asked why, she replied because my children would be deeply hurt and sad to have her gone'. And Lily was right, for we will always be a child in relation to our mother. You have to believe Lily knew this, having at one time lost her mother. Lily also knew you never prepare yourself for this day. But she also realized this day would come.
Lily died because of a Heparin overdose given by medical staff
Lily's Great grandsons
Christopher James Ford
memorial 110095373
Jason Donivon Counterman Ford
Memorial# 134390572
As we got to know her a bit better, we found Lily had an inner need-to-do-for and to protect her family. Deep down Lily needed her children more then they needed her, but she would not show that part of herself. She was there for her family – totally – and she would do battle with any outsider on her children's behalf.
Why did Lily become so protective of her family? Her earlier years were hard and difficult as a mother. She experienced two of her children pass away long before their time. She also experienced the difficulty in having four of her oldest children taken and raised by foster parents. However she elected that course of action, to give them something better which they needed to grow mentally and physically to step into a harsh world, as she knew it. Her husband was abusive, both to her and to the four oldest children, and she felt that it was best to take them out of that abusive situation. But she only gave up the material and physical part of those four, not the love for them, as this type of caring and love took great courage and at the same time took a lot out of her.
She was a tough woman and a tough mother and when she moved to Des Moines in 1977, her babies were all with her. Babies did I say? To her they were. They were the seven youngest of the fourteen children and she was not about to let anyone part her from them ---Not Now---Not Again.
Lily pulled every rope to assure her family had a roof over their head and food on the table. She believed in her children and defended them wholly. She portrayed a stern, hard, and controlling person and a non-family member did not stand up to her, in fact, she gained their respect or they were no longer welcomed in her house.
She truly believed in her family and defended them. Well at least until the children had children, then naturally the grandchildren were defended, and yes even the great-grandchildren. Lily always protected the youngest.
All this was only the exterior part of Lily and some had the pleasure of realizing the interior part, much of what her family knew and felt. The Lily we grew to know was a soft, caring, and overly loving mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She cherished her family, putting aside the differences. When holidays and birthdays came around, she had an inner glow of excitement. While we were trying to squeeze through all the chaos, she engulfed it and drew it in like a sponge.
She dearly enjoyed talking about her times and how each of her children tried to get the best of her. She always knew this and seemed to keep the upper hand in the end. When I said she liked to talk, I mean she really enjoyed talking. Once she got started she could really go. She wanted you to know her thoughts and if you just happened to leave the room she would look straight ahead continue talking. But these were her memories and she held onto those memories.
Many times over the years, the family spent many hours and days with her in the hospital, when she needed special medical care. She always knew her children would be there and she would work them as hard if not harder then the nursing staff. These were the times her need for her family became more apparent. Her needing her family was starting to surface and now she was the recipient of the care she so desperately gave in prior years.
In the past few years Lily needed in home care. She was deeply concerned she was a burden to Linda and all that cared for her in Linda's absence. But that was not burden, it was the same care and love returned to the giver. She was not a burden; she was 'Mother'.
Lily truly needed her children. Was Lily afraid of dying? Yes, she was. When asked why, she replied because my children would be deeply hurt and sad to have her gone'. And Lily was right, for we will always be a child in relation to our mother. You have to believe Lily knew this, having at one time lost her mother. Lily also knew you never prepare yourself for this day. But she also realized this day would come.
Lily died because of a Heparin overdose given by medical staff
Lily's Great grandsons
Christopher James Ford
memorial 110095373
Jason Donivon Counterman Ford
Memorial# 134390572
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